Ok so I am in the official 6 months since the stroke zone and I am pleased that I have made it here without another stroke and that I can see progress for real and not just some encouraged wishful thinking. I need that. I can walk across the room holding my travel coffee mug and go from the couch to the kitchen zooming to the keurig for a hot reward for my efforts AND without the walker at all! This is on a good day with lots of pain meds so I can walk on the evil leg (ok the misbehaving leg). Ok this isn't very far but for me it is a walk through the mojave in summer. I couldn't do that before. That is a phrase I live to say! I have just little victories like hey ma no hands at the bathroom sink, which makes fixing hair at a whole new level.

I am not waiting til the new year rings in to make the resolutions I need to make. I am struggling with many bad habits that want to return but I am focusing on the new life I have now and I want to make it the best I can because I know now that this ticket is time limited isn't it. I resolve to be kindest to myself most of all and not be stressed out worrying if I inconvenience anyone because I had my time of giving and giving and what does it hurt to be selfish right now when I need it right? No one else around me knows what it is like to be a prisoner in a body that can't just go and do whenever when I want to get out of the house so I don't have sympathy for them when they protest that I am too spontaneous. Who says I am the one needing to change? Perhaps an unplanned trip on a minute's notice is good for their soul as well as mine so I resolve to keep bugging everyone to take me out for a diet soda and a walk. I also resolve to keep speaking up when I want this or that from the doc or the therapist or anyone in the medical community because I believe I too have expertise in this even if it is a little bit and I need my voice to be heard because just that is a healing element in my life. I resolve to cry when I need to and laugh as much as I can because a cry washes it away and a laugh keeps it away. I also resolve to try and not keep worrying about what is going to get better or not and just enjoy this moment in time as much as possible because less stress is the best medicine for me anyhow.

I resolve to do the things I always wanted and was always too timid to do like this new haircut that is the shortest haircut I have ever had in my life sorta twenties style kind I saw on a show and decided to get it. I remind myself of my grandma who put those clips in at night to get a wave in LOL only I haven't got the wave clips yet. Plus I refuse to go grey just yet so I did a dramatic color change which I absolutely love. I also kinda like how no one recognizes me at first LOL and this new controlled change in my life is just what my soul needed and hopefully a good make over for the holidays will be just what my new years resolution list needs to get it going. I need some confidence back because I am literally knocked off my feet just now and I really don't need to be just like I used to be, i need to be better. I need to be a better person, I resolve to try and be a better person and with all that goes with that because I want to be more patient, more adventurous and confident, more intuitive and insightful, more able to negotiate, and more content in each moment no matter what is happening. I want to chanel John Luke Picard just with some great hair though. I want to be calm and say things like "make it so" in my life LOL. I resolve to at least try.