I'm comin up on the three year marker for post stroke. Had I known then how I would feel now, I would not have been such a crumudge!

I'm 45 now(like wine I've adopted the -better with age belief!), I've read of twentysomethings hit worse than me and sixtysomethings hit easier than me, so stroke is nondiscriminating thing- for sure. I think attitude has something to do with what you do with this event.

When I was in RIC (rehab inst. of chicago) a (naiive but trying to be helpful aide) said something about being disabled in general way and in my stubborn little "take no prisoner" way- said to him (in a not so nice manner) "I will not be disabled" (that you'll be able to see "way", but never said) that remark which spurred me on to prove him wrong. The defient "only child" (you won't tell me what I can't do) sort of feeling kicking in.

If he hadn't made that remark to me who knows if I would have been more complacent to "accept" the hand tossed out to me. Or I think I just thought I liked most aspects of my old life enough to accept nothing less if I could make it possible. The physical is doing ok, just the inside the head sort of stuff takes work. Anxiety and vertigo and confidence are the issues that need rebuilding and work... Its like a mind game, takes effort for me to hop into a car to go somewhere, like Dr. Head of Stroke said, the brain "percieves" doing whatever as requiring more effort on one part (like who wants to deal with traffic and the big trucks).

Not letting a "medical action" dictate the remainder of my actions for life are the call of the day. Make your new life and the rebuilding of it, your goal.

It doesn't have to be an in your face sort of thing just a quiet resolve in the back of the mind. One never knows what one may find- I've noticed I've changed my views on many things and feel like I'm more open to different things. And while I may feel terrible for a friend or acquaintance over their new "challenge" I also know how it can challenge us to dig deeper to find what was already there but we didn't know...Make is a good day, its your choice how you're going to look at it...

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING