I can't remember which movie I was watching, but there was a scene where one mother was saying to another mother: "No matter how much you give and do for your children, one day thirty years from now, one will be sitting on the psychiatrist's couch complaining about something I won't remember saying or doing." I laughed so hard I almost needed a Depends. Because it is so true. I made mine wear that this or that and didn't give money to do this or that or wouldn't let someone come live with us or remember when they ran away from home and didn't go looking? And no one ever worries about the mothers on the couch pleading with someone to help them with the schizo or psychotic children. And now excuse me but what happened to this group that thinks 18 is not the end of financial responsibility to kids even in a hard economy and that they get a severance pay on top of it in the form of a car to drive away in? But those angelic faces keep us parents being as good as we can for as long as we can.
I had a frenemy recently tell me that she would travel someplace to die rather than be a burden on her kids? I said Why since I paid into this help-me-out-when-i'm-old thing three times over. Besides I said, wouldn't that be like early death? I like to believe my kids would miss me and not want me to die amongst strangers. I like my cozy home base and I hope it is my last living place. Besides I still have much to offer my kids and we still have fun together. For sure this has been a year of the steepest learning curve ever. My young adults had to learn so much so fast but they did it sometimes kicking and screaming. i am proud of them and proud of us. I am a bit of a burden sure since I can't wash my clothes and drive anymore (at least in the driver's seat-I do a mean backseat driver even with visual problems) so I need a helping hand or two. My angels also get me to college so that is a mean twist of irony there. They holler at me to hurry up grab my sweater and lunch and get to the car LOL. they know finishing my dissertation is on the bucket list.
Seeing them regularly keeps me smiling. Oh we all run eachother nuts sometimes but that is how families do and the trick is to remember we love each other. Hard times bring out the best and worst in us and both have to be remembered and dealt with.
I was spoiled this Mother's Day with a balloon bouquet, fresh favorite flowers, a fabulous dinner feast, and some jewelery that said MOM and some other little gifts. I felt like queen for the day and really appreciated the collage of pictures of us all when they were little. I don't know where the time went and how did I get old ? I have had a wonderful gift of watching them grow up. I am still the mom in the family even if I need so much help. There is no shame in asking for that help. In most cultures it is assumed kids will help out.