Jay. till you had a stroke, you have no idea, what we are going throught. I

just got back from England, and my family are like " well that is behind you now " I smile, it is always there. I look and doing good, but i have problemwith focousing, getting out what I want to say, can not drive any more

Spelling is terriable, and my number skill is not there.

I am still blessed, so I just smile.

love. peace, and joy

Yvonne

They don't understand the fuzzy thinking sometimes, fatigue both physical and mental and all the other baggage we have now.  I perform pretty well but still have deficits to deal with. Sometimes my wife thinks I'm better than I am because I try not to upset her, but she sees...she knows I'm improving and she is a motivator for that...woe unto the person who would say 'he should be better by now' in her earshot.

Usually I just smile at them when they say such, in my, it must be nice to have such a simple perspective way. Did have a coworker get upset because I took a while to speak and proceeded to tell everyone in the room what I meant to say. I leaned forward and in my nicest voice told him I sincerely hoped he never suffered aphasia and had people thinking him a simpleton, now let me explain what broke your network.

We had a stroke and survived it, lot of people can't say that...and it never goes away completely, my neuro and other docs have made it clear this was life altering and I have to adapt on many levels. The normals or norms as I call them will never understand hopefully. I sometimes wonder which of them would really be able to handle our new existence.

I love the smile we are blessed. I too look good and all things considered I'm doing well. I owe a great deal to the support I get from all of you.

I will adopt the smile response, it will keep them wondering.

Peace, love, joy and prayers,

Jay

i agree,..no hero is complete without a medal,,and the survivor badge is yours,..

we never realize what stroke survivors go thru,..its inside,,its hidden...we can only guess,..be grateful and hopeful...but u guys are the one who live it night and day,..no matter how healed you are,..

saying someone ur stroke is behind u...is like saying someone uve grown up forget  ur childhood now,..we dont do that do we?!!!

Even with Bob's profound disabilities - physical, emotional, exhaustion, sequencing problems and some cognitive loss, he LOOKS really good, and people who know him are totally clueless when they see him out.   There are soooooo many people riding scooters these days that it is more a convenience to them, that it no longers points to a big problem if you see someone on one.   They undoubtedly think I'm in his way and need to lighten up, when in fact I am the one cuing him contantly and keeping him from getting into a bad spot.  

People never really get it - not even those with someone they know, unless they are the person that goes and helps them, they don't realize how much is going on.

I was talking to a man in a car waiting place while our cars were being worked on.   He mentioned some bike ride and I said how my husband used to do all those rides till his stroke and we went on and I told him about Bob's stroke and the things that he lost and he replied with, 'well, good luck with that, maybe he'll pop out of it'.   I nearly fell off my chair! 

I think the word people hear is stroke, and the word they miss is SURVIVOR.    I do try not to beat a dead horse with people who already know his problems, and not repeat the same stuff over and over, because they've already heard that part, more than once.   On the other hand, it's kinda like a 2 edged sword, as soon as you quit talking about it, they ASSUME it's no longer a problem - then you end up having to set them straight!   But any changes or improvements or things we figured out how to do - it's part of our life and they ain't heard it yet, so they are going to get an earful!    His friends & family do want to hear anything new though, so I always pass it along, usually on facebook.

Jay, 

I must say I hang on to my label if you want to call it that, I'm a 12 Year Survivor and glad to still be breathing and recovering doing what I can for myself and proud of my wife of 17 years by my side....

Together we are still family and living our lives together just like we always did before the stroke came along.... Nothing has changed if you know what I mean....

PS - I think I would have punched her in the stomach and said, "no, it's behind you!   I live with the aftermath everyday.  I don't have the luxury of forgetting about it!