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planning the holiday season


swilkinson

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Read on any widow site and you will see what a widow or widower feels about the holiday season. I guess not a lot different to what a survivor or caregiver feels but a little lonelier. It is hard in holiday season to be alone and a bit sad for that is how older widows and widowers must appear. Separated from their families and significant others a widow on her own is hardly a family and of course Christmas in the secular world is seen as a family celebration . Or is that just the Hallmark view?

 

I am a woman of many years experience and will do what a mature woman does, manage my life on my own. Not the ideal situation but what has to be.That thought is not as scary now as it used to be I think I am getting more used to it being that way. Some times I am sad about it but facing reality has always been what life is about for me. Some people say they admire me for my honesty but what is the point of faking it? To live as honestly as I can is one of my aims in life.

 

As usual the days are busy this time of the year. I went down to my daughter's place for a few days and enjoyed that. I loved being with the grandkids. We had a very busy weekend. The Sallies at Shell Harbour do the Christmas gift wrapping in their largest shopping centre and although Shirley was officially having a day off on Saturday we called in while she was shopping and finding the girls overwhelmed we all pitched in to get rid of the backlog. In a way a church or in her case Corps, is like a family, and so when one member is working too hard everyone else should willingly pitch in to help.

 

Sunday was a prayer meeting, followed by a church service, a "Thank You" lunch and then a concert. It was a marathon day. Even I cried at their "Thank You" lunch as many people stood up and said how wonderful the Spooner family had been in their time there. It is hard to hear that just before you leave a place. I will love having them closer to me from the second week in January, but will miss my trips to the lovely South Coast. I have made some unlikely friends in the six years they have been there and we all knew for me that would be the parting of the ways. I so appreciated the two carloads of people who turned up at Ray's funeral to support their "Captain" and her mother and family. There is something special about that kind of caring. I wish I could put that feeling more eloquently into words.

 

Monday was church cleaning and shopping day. In a small Corps the people have to pitch in and help as money for a cleaner is not one of the priorities. I think it is good to see the preacher on Sunday cleaning the church on Monday,makes them seem more human and approachable. Tuesday we were back at the church, welfare interviews for Shirley and I read my book. The best part was going off to lunch together, Shirley and I rarely have time alone. Nothing important to talk about really but we enjoyed it. Then off to do the Christmas wrapping again. I had a wander around some of the large shopping centre and she packed up early as we had the presentation at the High school to go to.

 

My grandson is bright and about third in his year but his award was for food technology as he is a mighty cook. He did the recipes for the last weeks of school term. Got to love a kid like that. He is a musician, plays the cornet in the Corps band and the trumpet in the school band. My grand daughter is pretty bright but always gets the citizenship award rather than an academic achievement award. Love them both heaps. I know it will be harder for them next year in a new house, new neighbourhood, new schools but I hope they find it easy to settle in. Moving is as hard on kids as it is on their parents. I know as we moved a lot when I was a child.

 

I think as I age there is a sense of seasons running together, it is no sooner Easter than it seems we are preparing for Christmas. In the church that is more obvious than in the community I think. In the community Christmas is a day, in the church it is a season. In Australia we sing of snow and reindeer and log fires and it is ridiculous all the while we are experiencing heat and sun and not a reindeer in sight. So in a way we find it harder to celebrate what is a winter festival in the northern hemisphere in the heat of a southern hemisphere summer.

 

And as I am planning to go back out west that will make it even more difficult to imagine a snowy scene as it will be hot winds, red soil, semi-arid landscapes and no time of the year to cook a turkey. But we will enjoy the season anyway. I think for me being together even with a small part of my family will be good and Shirley and Craig have booked me for next year. That is a long way off though. For now i will go on making plans for this year's Christmas.

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Glad to hear you're keeping busy!  Family is everything, I never realized until Ray had the stroke.   Thank goodness for them, especially the little ones.

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Sue,you bring family wherever you go. Your spirit of love and sharing you will never be alone as long as someone needs to be cared for.

You live Christmas all year.

 

We have lights on palm trees and go see boat parades. Anyway caroling warms the heart most.

 

Take care and have a blessed season.

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Sue, 

 

I said to myself I wasn't going to comment on this subject you wrote because one day I could be in the same situation should I go before my loving wife.... It took me four tries to get the wife I got now after the others all left so any holiday by myself would be devastating to me in my condition with this stroke having a hold on me.... It just wouldn't be the same kind of holiday....

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Just so happy for you that family is now closer, geographically and you are able to make those trips and they to you, easier.

 

We don't do all that much here but try to make it special for Bruce and I - he so loves the Christmas season.

 

Happy Holidays!

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