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A Caregiver's Vision


Strokewife

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For some time I have been mulling over the idea of starting a blog…Way back when, I thought about a blog for Massage Therapy to incorporate the insights of alternative therapy. I even went as far as setting it up…I think there are one or two stories on that blog. Time slid by and I never blogged more than those few notes. Certainly, I don’t discredit it because it is still a good idea but in the past summer I was thrust into an experience that I never planned on…That’s when I became a stroke victims wife. With all that is involved around someone who has had a stroke it became a daunting task to get through each day. Somewhere, I said I could be of help. Then time went on and I had not drafted one word…Today, eight months later, I have decided that the excuses stop here. I have become aware of so many things and I must write about them. So my dear fans as I embark upon this journey that some of you may follow and others will find too insignificant I heed your support for there is much to learn in this world of circumstances. With that being said…Let’s begin:

 

Blog 1: Vision

 

In June last year my husband had a stroke. Upon that day, I became the wife of a stroke victim. This title didn’t really define itself clearly and I didn’t really want it. Basically, my life was turned upside down. It was everything I could do to just get through each day as my husband lay in a hospital bed fighting for his life. A fight it was…I barely left his side and when I did it always seemed like the worst would happen. Guilt became a regular visitor while I lived in a recliner chair conveniently located by my husband’s bedside. Oh, certainly, there were times that I had family and friends to assist me with the ongoing task of support. But, at the end of each day when I was so tired I could not function I would lay back in that recliner and hope for something better to present itself in the new day. Each day, that “something better” would actually show itself. Yet, each day would have landslides that kept tears falling down my face and I can only describe as horrible. It was a time that I would never want anyone else to experience, nor would I want to revisit. I prayed for understanding.

 

After a months stay in the hospital my husband was moved to an inpatient rehabilitation hospital. Each day they scooped him out of bed and took him through a schedule of therapy. While this was effective…it was robotic. I found myself with moments to breath…rest…and take care of the “Over the top” paperwork. My husband would do the exercises they told him to do; yet, he couldn’t do the exercises they told him to do. As his wife, his caregiver, and his love I ached to see him respond. Again, much pain filled my being. It was during this time that I realized the simplicity of being able to take a sip of water, to turn to your love and smile, or to walk to the bathroom when you feel the urge. I realized how much I took for granted. I realized how quickly we can have something removed from us. Awareness of what is most important was knocking at my door. Somehow, in all this turmoil I received vision or clarity. And as my eyes have been opened, my dear readers, I was made aware that this vision needed to be shared. So, today I begin blogging as a stroke wife’s life…and I simply ask you to please join me.

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Welcome to the Blog Community, with your first blog done and dusted.  We say Stroke survivor here as they (and we as caregivers) are survivors, even sometimes warriors. You are a wonderful wife, you stayed, you helped, you supported, not all do.  You came here and found a community you can be part of, not many do.  THEN you took the step of trusting us so you posted and now have produced your first post-stroke blog as a caregiver.  Very well done indeed.

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hi strokewife :

 

welcome to best online stroke support group, & blogging is best therapeutic hidden jewel of this site. reading your blog brought so many of memories of my initial stroke years when hubby & family spent time on that recliner chair  & watching herd of nurses & doctors coming  & going from our room. I agree with Sue I won't call stroke survivor victim yes I felt like victim when I was sitting &  crying in sidelines. I think real  journey begins of stroke survivor when they come home & reclaim their life back with best of their ability. life after stroke is just different not good or bad its just different. I know in the begining months I depended heavily on my husband's & family strength & support till I found my footing back. I found blogging & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for y soul. would love to meet you more in those venues.

 

Asha (now 46 year old & 12 year old stroke survivor who ofcourse on some days feel like warrior)

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Thank you so much for starting this blog and I look forward to following you in the future. I enjoy your writing style. I am a survivor (or victim though I know I am not supposed to use that word) and not a caregiver but your insight helps me to understand what my husband was going through all those days and nights when he was the one living and trying to sleep in the recliner beside my bed. So you have helped already.

 

You are an inspiration to me to start my own blog, now that I can type a little. I delayed because I thought I should start at the beginning, which is now six months ago, but I guess the important thing is just to start, wherever that happens to be. I am grateful that you did.

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Welcome to the Blog Community, with your first blog done and dusted.  We say Stroke survivor here as they (and we as caregivers) are survivors, even sometimes warriors. You are a wonderful wife, you stayed, you helped, you supported, not all do.  You came here and found a community you can be part of, not many do.  THEN you took the step of trusting us so you posted and now have produced your first post-stroke blog as a caregiver.  Very well done indeed.

Dear Sue:  Thank you for noting the use of survivor verses victim. While, I do agree that my husband is a survivor and I too at that moment in time it didn't seem so.  As we move forward I will totally focus on the positive in name badges I place upon us.  Your comment is appreciated.

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hi strokewife :

 

welcome to best online stroke support group, & blogging is best therapeutic hidden jewel of this site. reading your blog brought so many of memories of my initial stroke years when hubby & family spent time on that recliner chair  & watching herd of nurses & doctors coming  & going from our room. I agree with Sue I won't call stroke survivor victim yes I felt like victim when I was sitting &  crying in sidelines. I think real  journey begins of stroke survivor when they come home & reclaim their life back with best of their ability. life after stroke is just different not good or bad its just different. I know in the begining months I depended heavily on my husband's & family strength & support till I found my footing back. I found blogging & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for y soul. would love to meet you more in those venues.

 

Asha (now 46 year old & 12 year old stroke survivor who ofcourse on some days feel like warrior)

Dear Asha:  Thank you for your comments and gems of knowledge surrounding the stroke survivor journey.  I have always been a journal writer but now it just seems important to take my thoughts to a new level.  When I used the word victim it was how it seemed in the beginning.  I am on board with the use of survivor...It even makes me want to sing out Aretha Franklin's song "I will survive."  I plan to get involved more...just taking baby steps. Again thanks

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Thank you so much for starting this blog and I look forward to following you in the future. I enjoy your writing style. I am a survivor (or victim though I know I am not supposed to use that word) and not a caregiver but your insight helps me to understand what my husband was going through all those days and nights when he was the one living and trying to sleep in the recliner beside my bed. So you have helped already.

 

You are an inspiration to me to start my own blog, now that I can type a little. I delayed because I thought I should start at the beginning, which is now six months ago, but I guess the important thing is just to start, wherever that happens to be. I am grateful that you did.

Dear Carol:  I thank you for your kind words.  It thrills my soul that you are inspired to share your story.  Please just do it.  Start by just writing your thoughts in a journal.  Then pick from one of your thoughts and enhance upon it for a blog.  One of the reasons I joined the network was so I could connect with others that have experienced what I have.  The best way for me to find that is through the blogs.  I am looking forward to reading your first entry.  Thank you for cheering me on as well.  It makes it all worth it.

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I can tell you he needs to exercise all he can DAILY to begin to overcome the effects of the stroke the soonest...

Dear Fred:  Thanks for your comment.  I totally agree with daily exercise and I am thankful that my husband gets picked up 3 to 4 times a week for physical, occupational, and speech therapy.  They work him out.  We got a recumbent bike for him to use at home. Again, thanks for sharing.

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A great idea. I too used blogging just to try and figure out what just happened and where did it take us. Plus you have the history if you ever want to go back and revisit some of it. Thank you for sharing. Debbie

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