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Respite Caregiver



It's been six months since I've posted. I now have my place in her life...giving her son and new daughter-in-law a break. I'm the only one who seems to be comfortable being with her by myself. Hey, if we go down, we go together. We'll just lay there till someone comes and helps us up!! (Note: Son says it cost $100 dollars if the EMTs come out to help her up. I say wake up the neighbors...or flag down a car. But really, I find it interesting that our volunteer fire company charges a fee...as if you get penalized for bothering them with trival stuff? But then again, maybe it's a service that has been abused in the past? Still irritates me.) As I've read with other blogs, the main issue of her recovery is her weight. This is a two edge sword as her independence is based on her weight and her only real joy in life right now is food. I'm still at arms length trying not to 'jump in with both feet'. There are three of us (Larry, Moe, and Curly) who do respite care for the couple. We all decided to go out to the movies to see 'star wars'. The three stooges didn't like the choice of movie, so we napped through half of it...droll rolling down our chins...but we made it through. It was the standing up and getting into the wheelchair afterwards where the fun began. We almost went down...with the manager of the movie theater standing right over us...*beep* me off that she just stood there...irritated that we were holding up the next showing of the movie as the army of 'cleaners' were standing outside the door watching us. I couldn't help saying to her 'can I help you??' She just ignored me and stood over us as we struggled not to go down. I'm just getting a feel for how the 'outside' world views disabilities. One of us has a husband who is a triple amputee from Vietnam War...so she was more in tune. Kids are helpful...they stepped up and held the doors for us as we came out with the wheelchair. We went to dinner at a local restaurant. Very accomodating. As we were getting out of our cars, a person in a wheel chair was hanging out near the car as the son was helping her out...asking if he needed help. It as funny how he was in the same boat and wanted to help. We chatted for about 15 minutes as he shared his issues. He has a GREAT van with the auto chair lift and the front seat that turned. That was awesome!! They say money can't buy happiness, but it sure as hell helps! We were lifting her in and out of a 4 cylinder low level car. Anyway, we had a great time...and the three stooges have now stepped up to helping out three or four times a week. Still not happy with her progress because I feel like she has 'given up' and I know she is capable of so much more. I'm sure this is common to think this way. Everyone is trying to be 'nice' and not kick butt...it's hard for all involved...especially her!


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Perhaps talking with the Physical Therapist might help in getting grasp on transfers and getting her up once down.

I'm confused, though I'm easily confused, is this lady a relative or just a friend?


I just took a few minutes to read your other blog entries...you seem like a very caring and loving firend to Rita. Don't feel guilty for sensing the changes in your relationship. Maybe even talk with her about this.

Rita is still the same woman you knew prestroke with all the feelings and concerns except now her body is not functioning as she wants. You can still talk with her about all the things you talked about before her stroke.

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A little to explain the EMT/Volunteer charges. I lived in an area where many years ago, if you were a resident and needed help, you got it free. I don't know what the case was if a non-resident had an accident and needed them. Then, it was decided to charge $50.00. Then the local politicians got into the act. They decided that since a person's insurance paid for ambulance that they could raise the fee way up. They never even thought about the people who didn't have insurance. After all, they were probably covered through some program which was for the employees and they were able to get it too.


As for the movie management - let's see if I can say this like a lady..... biggrin2.gif People like that need to learn a lesson. It is not right to wish anything on anyone, but as a believer I feel that eventually they do get theirs. Why can't people see how fortunate they are and act accordingly?

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