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My Body Is Tired


fking

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Well to all my members I just want to tell you first that my body is very tired, my walking is next to very slow, my left side is still very paralyzed and unusable so for the most part I'm one handed making life for me very confusing not being able to do many things for myself.......

 

I'm not giving up I'm giving out strength wise with a treadmill test in the morning by my heart doctor to see if he can make a determination of just where I am in life..... You know being like this is very hard on my wife too cause she worries I will eventually give up but that is not me, I will go long as God keeps me in my right mind or physically better after a while....

 

Living after any stroke takes determination to physically survive especially when you turn 74 years of age which I have done and 75 come July in a couple more months..... We never know when God is ready for any of us or will call us home to be with Him......

 

Even my scooter lift is giving out and the VA is getting me a new one in a few weeks since this one is 12 years old and I just don't want an outside scooter carrier and it get stolen if I forget to take it inside when I park my SUV especially in New Orleans when we go visit my wife's people there..... It takes a bit longer for the inside lift to be ordered and delivered to the installer at the VA..... I can wait....

 

So I suppose my body and the scooter lift got tired about the same time or just worn out plus my vehicle now has over 2004 thousand miles being a 2003 model Ford Explorer..... So it has been up and down the highway, out to Las Vegas and about everywhere I been since the stroke.... I can't count the trips from Texas to New Orleans over the last 10 years....

 

So I can understand why my body is near the end of going and going, I'm very tired physically and mentally too.... But my hard part is being one handed and no help from my left hand or side.... So this blog is not a pity party just explaining the facts of what my body is going through at this time.....

 

On top of everything we still got to get our taxes done by Friday and we have misplaced the folder from last year when we put down the new carpet a couple months ago..... I think we are both older and a bit tired now.... :D Well I am aware that I won't be here forever and neither will my wife so we will put her daughter on the will to take over the homestead for her and her daughter, our grandchild...... They will need a place to live when we are gone to be with the Lord......

 

In a way it doesn't seem like I been a stroke survivor for 12 years but I have and even worked at Walmart on my scooter as a greeter for three years before I quit after I got my disability status from the VA.....

 

Well my friends I ask for your prayers for me and my lovely wife that we have a bit more strength for this journey......

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Prayers going up for you. You have been such an inspiration for me here. I pray that God gives you the strength you need to carry on.

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my good wishes are with you my friend.  how truly I understand the body wearing out!!  it must be what we signed up for fred(lol)

take care my friend

 

david

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Fred, we are all older and more tired.  As a widow who has to do most things for herself I feel the same some days.  But I look at what I came through, all of those years caring for Ray and I know that I should relish the life alone but I don't.  Now my special someone is gone nothing will ever be the same.  Hopefully I have a few good years ahead of me and I hope you have the same my friend.

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Fred,

Yes tired is part of our journey. William is sleeping as I write this. I find it hard to believe that it has been 8 years. William is still going...but slowly. He gets confused more and sleeps more.

I will pray for you and your wife. How is your dog doing. Our three dogs are keeping us happy and busy

Ruth

 

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Ruth, I tell you it has gotten a bit harder for me to walk with a quad cane again or even going to church services with my wife when I struggle to get myself up on my feet when service is over.... She has to rush from the choir stand down to where I sit during services and help me stand up to leave.... I try not to use my scooter because so many others are in wheelchairs across the back row of the church.... So I still try to walk as best I can and I even drive to church and park in the handicap rows....

 

The church is 110 years old and some members been there nearly as long... One old sister in the choir with a very strong voice is 95 years young and don't even use or need a cane to walk....

 

Tell William hello and hopefully we can stop by to see you all as I still got your address.... Princess, our shizt tzu had 6 pups we kept one so I got the two of them to see after every day when our grand daughter is in school...... She is the one my wife got the dog for in making the honor roll and she is still making a's and b's in school every class at 11 years old now.......

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Sue, it's hard being alone or with no mate after years of having one close at all times..... That's why I got married for the fourth time not wanting to be alone and this wife is the best I ever had or wanted, I love her dearly...... It's not about sex at my age but togetherness not having to be alone day after day and a body in bed at night.... She is still working at the bank supervising Tellers at a drive in Bank and will make Manager real soon when the current manager retires shortly.....

 

Take care of yourself and pray for us......

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