Some days I am glad to be alive, to see the sun, feel the breeze, talk, laugh, sing, other days I take it all for granted. I am aware that I am slowing down. I turned the alarm clock off at 7.15am this morning and turned back to look at the clock and it was 8am, I had just daydreamed 45 minutes away! Of course it is winter and much harder to get out from under the covers but back in the last decade I was always up at 6am, summer, winter, autumn and spring. With someone to look after there was not really an option. But now I can get up later, no-one to look after but myself so I guess it is my time to take my ease now.

I have to plan things into my week. There were a couple of people I have ministered to who died this week already, well it is winter. Those funerals will be next week, one on Monday, one on Tuesday. So that means not taking Friday afternoon off but using the afternoon to do the nursing home visits I would have done next week. The problem with any volunteer job is that it is a commitment and so although you don't have to clock on and off as you do with a job and really no-one is going to have you on the carpet if you don't do it. I just know I need to keep up the visits. I know the old folk I visit look forward to me coming, to supplement the visits they have (or do not have) from their families.

I do get some leisure time, I make sure of that. If I fill my life up too much I get tired and have those sudden mood shifts and do feel out-of-sorts and headachy and all the signs that my body is saying "slow down". At my age that is natural. I do feel good though after a day when I have had some exercise, done something I enjoy like being out in the garden for a while, having coffee with a friend or chatting to someone on the phone. There are plenty of ways for me to be good to myself now and most of them cost very little money. I still enjoy being on here, reading the blogs and posts and seeing how my friends are doing on Facebook.

I am glad that I live in a place where I can still sit on the verandah and enjoy the view with birds singing and dogs barking and trees swaying in the breeze. Of course in winter those days are rarer and I have not been walking on the beach this month as it has been a colder winter but I am sure in six weeks or so that can be resumed so I do get to enjoy the scenery on my little bit of the coast and enjoy the water in the ocean and the lakes close by. I love Spring with all the birds nesting and the ducklings and water bird babies to enjoy when I can go for a walk along the lake edge. I really am blessed to live here.

Life is busy. I stopped and got out of my car at the shopping centre today and the lady in the next car parking space go out and told me about her grandchildren, her ungrateful daughter-in-law and a lot about her life in a ten minute conversation. I must have "good listener" written on my forehead because I am never short of someone to talk to when I am out....lol. A group of older men who meet daily at the Food Court now welcome me as I go past so they are always ready for a chat. Most are widowers in their eighties. I don't often have time to sit with them but occasionally I do. I know from experience what loneliness is like.

I am looking forward to going out to Broken Hill again at the end of next month, winter seems longer without some time away and I have not felt like making plans to travel alone. Maybe as time goes by I will find a travelling companion. My present man friend can't go far due to medical problems, he is a nice man to talk to but maybe I need some women friends to travel with and go places with. Will see what the future brings. No rush, plenty of time to see how life unravels.

Finding things to do to keep busy keeps me busy. I did have a day of sorting through drawers and cupboards but that was just to gather some of my craft materials together, you could hardly call it decluttering . But before winter is over I intend to do more of that. Praying for sunshine for me to enjoy and some time to sit in a sheltered spot out of the wind to enjoy just being in a good place. Add a cup of coffee and a good book and it will be a place close to Heaven.