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Small woes of a sick widow



I have been sick for a week, only a chest infection and cough but enough to slow me down and keep me home. I thought of going to the doctor for antibiotics but usually only do that if it turns to bronchitis which fortunately it didn't do this time. Spent the first three days inside,trying to keep either cool or warm as it seemed to change hour by hour. I went out on the fourth day to a meeting, to an appointment and then did some shopping and that was really tiring. Going out was definitely not a good idea, so I then had three days at home again. I am feeling much better now and as tomorrow is Sunday I will go to church and maybe even to coffee afterwards. I do need a treat after spending so much time alone.


I used to say: "Who looks after the caregiver?" but now that I am a widow and used to being alone I just get on with it. I know I need to be sensible in my eating, take over the counter cold solutions, keep warm and sleep as much as I can. Honestly I know this is what has to happen for the rest of my life so I may as well get used to it. No sense in moaning as moaning doesn't make life any better. Happily there is the Paralympic Games to watch so I did a lot of viewing and enjoyed seeing the bravery and determination of the mostly young people involved. It is such a wonderful experience for them all and the medals of any colour are welcomed with big smiles and waves to family and supporters and I love to see the simple sportsmanship they display. So much better than the Olympics in my opinion.


Today I did some more work on my garden, this morning I planted out some tomato plants in big pots and some salad greens. I have been doing a little at a time so I don't get too tired. All the back where I saw the brown snake last week is now tidied and I will be able to see anything lurking up there now. I don't get a lot of snakes but do get one or two each summer. The block behind me is really overgrown and I would like the owner to clear it. It can take years to get anyone to take that sort of action so keeping my back yard clear is the best I can do. I did tell the neighbours either side about the brown snake though so they can be aware they are around all ready.


While I was in the back garden the little children on the bottom side climbed up with the help of their Dad and talked to me over the fence. Some of you might remember how much trouble there was putting up the side fence as it ruined my garden but fortunately it didn't ruin the relationship with my neighbours and I still see them occasionally out the front playing in their enclosed play area and enjoy talking to them and it is great to have that happy relationship. The four little ones are now seven, five, three and just about a year old so it is nice to participate in their lives too. I mostly get to talk to Charlie as he is the one that throws balls over my fence, if I throw one back he yells: "Thanks Nanny Sue."


I missed going out with my man friend this week but as he has leukemia and a low auto immune system he doesn't need to have anyone germy go out with him. I was sad about it but there is next week and hopefully more weeks after that. I have got used to our excursions now, it is good to have company, someone to talk to, someone who enjoys doing some of the things I like to do. It doesn't have to be anything exciting I am happy with a cup of coffee followed by a walk along the Lake, a trip to a local Art Gallery with free entry for seniors or just lunch out and a walk. I have always liked simple pleasures and at my age don't want to have to go to a lot of trouble dressing up to go out. My how I've changed over the years...lol.


Next week I am going to my daughter's to go to my grand daughter's concert. It sounds like a big deal as they have been rehearsing for two weeks now. I missed so many of their school events while they lived away so it is nice now to be invited to join them. I do take whatever opportunities I can now to be with family and use the phone as well as the computer to keep in touch. Sadly I never hear from any of Ray's family with the exception of my Wilkinson sister-in-law as we phone alternate months so I do get some news from her. I do wonder why I was their sister-in-law for 44 years but now I am no longer a member of that family. Seems as if with Ray's death so much changed.


Life has it's ups and downs but on the whole it is good. I think because of what I have been through my expectations are low and as long as at the end of each day I can see that I have achieved something, done something interesting or met someone I know and like that is enough to make me satisfied with the day. I have friends who are constantly on the move, cruising, travelling to exotic places, seeing the sights of so many cities in remote areas of the planet and I no longer envy them the packing and unpacking, the strange hotels, the food they cannot eat and the tummy viruses they come home with. I think I have at last reached the conclusion that home is not such a bad place after all.


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Sue, sorry to hear you have been under the weather, buy happy to hear you are on the mend. I had a similar experience with in law relatives forgetting my phone number when my first wife passed. I suspect it has to do with unpleasant memories and nobody know what to say, and you just remind them of what they have lost. They cannot see that you have lost even more and would appreciate the company.


The best thing I did to counteract the problem was remarry and also made new friends that were not always reminded of my past mate when they saw me.


I am not suggesting you remarry! But making new friends and widening your activity circle might help.

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Thanks George, I am slowly moving into new circles, there are now people who think they have known me for a "long time" who never knew Ray. I keep busy as you can see from the blogs and keep interested in life.  I have a lot of younger acquaintances but it takes longer to make good friends. My new friendships do helps to balance the caring I do with the older ladies I look after in my role as a pastoral care worker.


I guess for me the crunch comes at private moments when I am sick or sad or weary and I wonder just for a while where those good years went and where my future lies. I do have a new man friend in my life but as he has a long term illness he is not the sort of person I can call on when I am sick.  I visit my daughter tomorrow and she will no doubt say : "You should have rung me."  But all the time I can cope alone I will try to do so.  Stubborn woman that I am!

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Positive energt and prayers coming to you.

Hipe you feel better soon snd stop being so germy so you can again share time with you friend


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Sue my friend, you caught me by surprise with this sickness so here is praying and wishing you a fine recovery real soon my dear friend...... Could be the weather there I guess????

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Yes Fred, you know Spring,preview of summer one day back to winter the next.  It got down almost to freezing while I was at Broken Hill and I piled on all the rugs in my little caravan. And then of course I flew back home so I could have picked it up on the plane.  The cold is gone but the cough is lingering.  I'll be back to 100% soon.  Thanks for the concern.

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