Is there a road ahead?
Entry posted by swilkinson
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Hi everyone, how are you doing? I am trying to keep busy but I haven't got much to do now, except those fiddly jobs I don't really want to do. I do talk to a lot of people, by phone, on Messenger, even by Zoom now and everyone is struggling during this Pandemic. My friends are divided, some are just carrying on, we will get over this and come out stronger they say, some are frightened, they are alone and who will help me they ask. I have always tried to help people but I'm in self isolation so that is almost impossible, all I can do is be ready to listen So my Lifeline telephone counseling skills are coming into play again
Every day our leaders make speeches, some days full of promises, some days full of warnings. I listen and they all seem to say: "You have to do this, you have to do that." I think this is resulting in a different attitude to what they are expecting, an attitude of rebellion. It is a natural reaction to feeling out of control, pushed around by external circumstances. I do understand that, I need to know how I can put that feeling to good use. Rebellion is misplaced energy, part of the fight or flight syndrome. Someone pushes me, I push back. Unfortunately it doesn't help
matters. We need to do something constructive, not destructive. Hence the phone calls, hopefully cheering people up.
I have just received my Mother's Day flowers, a week after they were ordered. Trevor was pretty angry when they didn't arrive on time. Understanding that the floral services were stretched to the limit, angry that the promised tracking was not working, feeling helpless and sad that my present didn't arrive on the promised day, he felt cheated. Living at Broken Hill, so far from here is hard for him on special occasions, birthdays, Mother's Day, Christmas. He enlisted what help he could and eventually the flowers arrived and by negotiation were free. They are beautiful but he said would have been more special if received on the day they were supposed to be delivered. Just adds to that feeling of things being out of our control.
I am listening to a lot of podcasts, watching church services on YouTube, reading thought provoking comment, searching for wisdom to help me through. My usual source of wisdom is missing, my church is closed and my friends are on the same quandary I am in. But each day there is a new beginning, sunrise tok sunset with a little sunshine in between and I have to be content to let the days go by. One day someone will say: "What did you do on the 16th of April?" and I will say: "Had lunch." because I have lunch every day. The rest of my time is a mixture of cooking, crochet, the essential housework, reading, gardening on the good days, shopping once a week. I am basically filling in time untilI Iife goes back to whatever the new normal will be for me.
So friends, how are you doing? I've heard from some of you via Facebook, I have read your blog if you have posted one, so I just wonder how the rest of you are managing? I have been on this site for many years, longer than most people. I stayed on after Ray died to be a Volunteer, firstly as a chat host then just as Blog Moderator. I have a lot of people who I think of as friends here. It feels like a good place for me to be. I am sad that so few people who have had strokes or are caring for someone who has had a stroke find Strokenet. We all need information, support and the friendship offered here. Self help groups and support groups are needed more than ever during this crisis.
Just recently I spoke to my partner over several years in chat here on Messenger. Sally and I have kept in touch via Facebook for a few years now. I was tired of typing and pushed the phone icon and she answered! It is a small miracle that suddenly we were talking, Sally in America, me in Australia. Modern communication made it happen. I could feel myself tearing up. I don't know why we hadn't done it before, the opportunity is there, we never accessed it What other opportunities have we missed? Time to explore some of those options.
So friends this is just one of those blogs about nothing. What can I write that you are not thinking for yourself? We are all just marching on the spot, waiting for the whistle to blow that says this is over, you are free to go, do what you want to do. And one day that will happen. So take care of yourself, and those you love or have responsability for. Keep in touch with those people who are significant in your life. As my Grandad used to say if you can't do good do no harm. Live as good a life as you can manage. I want you to be here when this is all over.
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