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Is there a road ahead?


swilkinson

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Hi everyone, how are you doing? I am trying to keep busy but I haven't got much to do now, except those fiddly jobs I don't really want to do. I do talk to a lot of people, by phone, on Messenger, even by Zoom now and everyone is struggling during this Pandemic. My friends are divided, some are just carrying on, we will get over this and come out stronger they say, some are frightened, they are alone and who will help me they ask. I have always tried to help people but I'm in self isolation so that is almost impossible, all I can do is be ready to listen So my Lifeline telephone counseling skills are coming into play again

 

Every day our leaders make speeches, some days full of promises, some days full of warnings. I listen and they all seem to say: "You have to do this, you have to do that." I think this is resulting in a different attitude to what they are expecting, an attitude of rebellion. It is a natural reaction to feeling out of control, pushed around by external circumstances. I do understand that, I need to know how I can put that feeling to good use. Rebellion is misplaced energy, part of the fight or flight syndrome. Someone pushes me, I push back. Unfortunately it doesn't help

matters. We need to do something constructive, not destructive. Hence the phone calls, hopefully cheering people up.

 

I have just received my Mother's Day flowers, a week after they were ordered. Trevor was pretty angry when they didn't arrive on time. Understanding that the floral services were stretched to the limit, angry that the promised tracking was not working, feeling helpless and sad that my present didn't arrive on the promised day, he felt cheated. Living at Broken Hill, so far from here is hard for him on special occasions, birthdays, Mother's Day, Christmas. He enlisted what help he could and eventually the flowers arrived and by negotiation were free. They are beautiful but he said would have been more special if received on the day they were supposed to be delivered. Just adds to that feeling of things being out of our control.

 

I am listening to a lot of podcasts, watching church services on YouTube, reading thought provoking comment, searching for wisdom to help me through. My usual source of wisdom is missing, my church is closed and my friends are on the same quandary I am in. But each day there is a new beginning, sunrise tok sunset with a little sunshine in between and I have to be content to let the days go by. One day someone will say: "What did you do on the 16th of April?" and I will say: "Had lunch." because I have lunch every day. The rest of my time is a mixture of cooking, crochet, the essential housework, reading, gardening on the good days, shopping once a week. I am basically filling in time untilI Iife goes back to whatever the new normal will be for me.

 

So friends, how are you doing? I've heard from some of you via Facebook, I have read your blog if you have posted one, so I just wonder how the rest of you are managing? I have been on this site for many years, longer than most people. I stayed on after Ray died to be a Volunteer, firstly as a chat host then just as Blog Moderator. I have a lot of people who I think of as friends here. It feels like a good place for me to be. I am sad that so few people who have had strokes or are caring for someone who has had a stroke find Strokenet. We all need information, support and the friendship offered here. Self help groups and support groups are needed more than ever during this crisis.

 

Just recently I spoke to my partner over several years in chat here on Messenger. Sally and I have kept in touch via Facebook for a few years now. I was tired of typing and pushed the phone icon and she answered! It is a small miracle that suddenly we were talking, Sally in America, me in Australia. Modern communication made it happen. I could feel myself tearing up. I don't know why we hadn't done it before, the opportunity is there, we never accessed it What other opportunities have we missed? Time to explore some of those options.

 

So friends this is just one of those blogs about nothing. What can I write that you are not thinking for yourself? We are all just marching on the spot, waiting for the whistle to blow that says this is over, you are free to go, do what you want to do. And one day that will happen. So take care of yourself, and those you love or have responsability for. Keep in touch with those people who are significant in your life. As my Grandad used to say if you can't do good do no harm. Live as good a life as you can manage.  I want you to be here when this is all over.

 

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Sue :

 

I am glad you are keeping it busy & staying safe. I have realized for me having routine keeps me busy & entertained in life, right now have whole family home so keeping busy in cooking, cleaning & doing other volunteer work at SN & all my spiritual classes started on zoom & so is family weekly call on zoom, so feel less alone, life goes on. After 16 years of reading nonfiction I started my first fiction john Grisham book pretty interesting. I feel I am pretty content with my new normal life. hope you can drop in our scheduled chats in the evening.. I do host Wed & Friday & on Friday I host in

coffee-shop you are welcome to join & make new friends & offer your pearl of wisdom

 

Asha

 

 

 

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Hi Sue, So much of this is outside our control, that can be very disturbing, we are used to feeling that we have control over our own lives but right now even that is not a given.

 

To answer your question my life goes on pretty much as normal. Working from home all week rather than just a couple of days a week. So for me at least this way of working is familiar and easy. I hear that some of the other teams from my office are finding it harder and are pushing to get back to the office environment.  No idea when that will happen yet. Even once the government allows it, there will have to be so many changes (things like restricting the number of people in lifts, and how many people can work in a meeting room etc.)  My company sent us all "home" 2 weeks before the formal shutdown, so I'm expecting them to be very cautious about letting us come back.

 

Thankfully the hospital rehab has remained open through all this, so I still go there twice a week. My outside hospital exercise has been moved to video wish is okay but not ideal. I hadn't realised how much I was relying on physical assistance until I could no longer have it. I have also taken advantage of the "quiet" time to get my NDIS support application in. I hadn't been bothering but these changes have shown me how much I rely on "outside" help so I want to formalise that.  Fingers and toes crossed they don't say no.

 

Outside work and exercise I'm being pretty quiet. reading, playing computer games and watching too much TV.  I did spend Saturday with my sister helping her get her "box" room cleaned up a bit and some more of her books onto shelves, and in return she came here yesterday and helped me spring clean my office and get rid of the "junk" that has been getting in my way since the kitchen reno was done just before the crazy hit.

 

take care my friend

-Heather

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Heather, a lot of younger people I know are working from home, the ones finding it difficult are the ones who are home schooling as well. The main exercise around here seems to be walking the dog although my next door neighbours on both sides use the beach for exercise, one surfing, one running. I am glad you still have rehab, that is important. The groups I miss most are coffee and chat groups so that is not happening, hard with only ten people in coffee shops and no sitting in the food courts until stage three. All we can do is keep busy and keep going. I zoomed with two different groups yesterday, not as good as personal contact but better than nothing.

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Dearest Sue you truly are an angel on Earth you are making such a difference with everything you are doing and your attitude as usual is one of introspection and high standards of morality and ethics. God bless your son for realizing that flowers are Not Just Flowers on Mother's Day they are attributes they are a thank you they are all the emotions and words that a son holds in his heart and wants to express and so he had more than the right to be indignant that they couldn't get them there on time. Things are not so out of our control after all he negotiated and got them for free for their complete blunder. Anyway I hope you are enjoying their beauty and scent. very lovely.

 

I laughed when you said your answer is that you had lunch because you have lunch every day. You are a strong Trooper Sue and I know that you two will negotiate and maneuver and that you will find the road ahead in fact I predict that you will find many roads ahead and then you will be conflicted about which one to take but I hope that as usual with the clear sense of common sense that the rest of the world lacks I'm sure that you will look andesite quickly because I've never known you to be indecisive for long

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Thank you Pam, I do,wonder if I want to go back to that busy life again. But there is always work to do in a church and too few hands to do it so that doesn't change or my involvement in Lions. But in a way I have enjoyed leisure to direct each day in the way I want to and that has been good. I know you do not have that option and admire you for your courage in living your life within its restrictions. Keep safe, be well and keep on doing what you are doing.

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