I want to pack my sh*t and leave right now. I want to take my husband...I guess the 13 year old can tag along too . I live in a town with no relatives within an hour and a half's drive, and no real friends. The friends Patrick had pre-stroke have pretty much disappeared, I guess seeing him this way is probably uncomfortable for them. Most people our age deal with parents and grandparents having a stroke, not a peer or spouse. I don't think they know how to relate. Patrick was the guy who constantly made people laugh and who challenged people verbally but now he has aphasia...

And so, since we have no ties to this area, I am ready to leave. My father has made it more of a challenge to figure out what we want to do by offering to purchase a house that we could "rent" from him, where ever we want. Oh my...to live in house...where we could paint the walls...or have a fenced back yard for the dog...or have a dishwasher that actually gets dishes clean...or live in a real neighborhood rather than on a street...I want to let him buy a house for us so badly I can hardly stand it. But I don't want a house in this town so I have to sit tight until the time is right. It's like having the biggest Christmas present in the world but not knowing what's in the box or when you will be able to open it. All I know is somewhere (hopefully in Colorado) there is a house that will one day be ours.

Patrick's brother is in Colorado, and it would be so nice to have someone to socialize with AND know that there is someone nearby who would do everything they could to make sure Patrick's rehab needs are met on those days when we need help. Not to mention it is SLIGHTLY more scenic there!!! (hhmmm, do I choose mountains or corn fields?) But the timing is wrong for moving now. I need my job to transfer me there, and realistically, there has to be an opening for that to happen. That could take, oh, I don't know, forever. Brandon has one year of middle school left and Ian (even though he doesn't live with us) has one year of HS left, and we would hate to leave before the school year is over. Unfortunately, the school year hasn't even started yet. And I would really hate to move in the dead of winter to Colorado- that just does not sound like fun. SO WE WAIT. UGH!!!!

As Verooka Salt would say..."BUT DADDY, I WANT IT NOWWWW!!!"

(Thank you, Dad. You have done so much to make life easier for Patrick, me, and the boys.)

Love You and Happy Birthday

Kristen