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sad.gif Well, am about to go for my third CAT Scan this afternoon. A few weeks back I started experiencing what felt like a vibration in the vein in the left side of my neck. This would have been the side where the clot passed when I stroked in June 2003. Up until now, I have been really lucky that I have had nothing like this type of feeling occur again. Have been taking my aspirin, lost most of the weight my doc. wanted me to and been trying to live a stress free life. We even moved across Canada to a smaller town so that My husband could accept a new job and I could slow down. Why now after all this time is this happening again. Went to our family GP and he is worried that I have really low blood pressure right now. I had an Echocardiogram this morning and the tech, gave me some insight to what could be happening. For the first time I was able to see a picture of my heart and where the hole was that the clot escaped from that morning that my first episode happened. I am scared that there is more that has developed over the last couple of years, that I may be worse off now then I was before. I just turned 30 which was a major milestone for me. Mostly of reflection of how lucky I am to have my life as it is, even if my health is not so great.

I feel as if I am being selfish by expressing my feelings to my family. I know that this is literally making my husband worry himself to death. I think that he doesn't talk about it because it would become real if he did. I wish it wasn't real and all a dream.


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Hi Heather,


I just popped into welcome you to the blog community. Lots of us read them, a few of us even leave comments. Glad you've got this blog to express thoughts you can't do with your family....it helps a lot! You'll see.



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I think that's not an uncommon wish, to wish it were all a dream and you were going to wake up in the morning and the stroke never happened. Ah, that it were. But since it IS real, the best we can do is make the most of what we're left with, and just keep on keeping on!



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Hi Heather,


Welcome to blogging! Glad to see you're still hanging around...... I think most of us, experience some form of denial when stroke enters our lives. We all deal with it in different ways. Hope your tests give you some piece of mind, if they don't might I suggest you live each day as if you never stroked in the first place and live each day to the fullest.

Take care,


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