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I'M GOING TO KILL MY WIFE


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I'M HIDING AT THE COMPUTER BECAUSE MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN HANGING PICTURES FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS. WE HAVEN'T AGREED ON WHAT SHOULD GO WHERE, HOW TO MEASURE, OR WHAT HANGERS TO USE. THERE ARE NOW FIVE ON THE WALLS, AND I'M PERFECTLY CONTENT TO QUIT, BUT SHE WON'T.

 

I CAN'T SHOOT HER OR STAB HER. I HATE THE SIGHT OF BLOOD AND BESIDES, I'D HAVE TO RECARPET THE PLACE. I CAN'T PUT HER IN AN ENCLOSED GARAGE WITH THE CAR RUNNING. I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THE CAR. DROWNING, SUFFOCATION, AND CHOKING TAKE TOO LONG.

 

OH WELL, I GUESS I'LL HAVE HER MAKE LUNCH AND BITE THE BULLET. I KNOW, NO MORE SEX THIS YEAR. FORGET IT, THAT WOULD PLEASE HER. BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.

 

MARTY smile.gif

10 Comments


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Marty,

 

Hire an enterior decorator to hang the pictures and then go out to lunch while she/he works. Then you won't have to go to jail for murder and your wife won't dare to complain about how they pictures are hung.

 

Jean

 

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Oh, the joys of moving and settling in...

My husband has no interest in decorating & is perfectly content to let me do it. If there is something I can't hang on my own I point he hammers and hangs..LOL...

 

It will be over & beautiful again soon Marty and we know how much you missed her when she was away

BashHead.gif

 

Bonnie

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Marty:

 

you crack me up, I guess its problem with men they never learn, decorating house is woman's job, and men should stay out of it.

 

Asha

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JEAN.

 

MY WIFE IS AN INTERIOR DECORATER BY TRADE. SEE WHAT I'M UP AGAINST?

PERFECT, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT, PERFECT, PERFECT. SHE'S OUT GETTING A HAIRCUT, SO IT'S NICE AND PEACEFUL HERE. I MAY JUST SET THE DEADBOLTS ON THE DOOR UNTIL TONIGHT. I'M GOING TO TILT TWO PICTURES A LITTLE TO SEE IF SHE NOTICES.

 

MARTY biggrin.gif

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haha lol marty !!! wat the hell u exspect women are dangerously pains when it comes to decorating and you havnt learned that yet just remember if u do u will have to cook yourself then lol and then no sex at all !!! lol think before u do lol !!!

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Marty, Marty....Marty, debating with an interior designer/wife combination when it comes to hanging pictures on the wall! Do you have a death wish?! I heard that a judge in IL committed a man to a mental health ward for doing that. He's still there, too. biggrin.gif

 

I'm totally with your wife on this one. Early in our relationship, Don quickly learned that you don't argue with a woman with an art degree, either, when it comes to pictures on the wall or placing decorator accents around. I get antz/feeling out of "balance" if someone moves something an inch over from where I'd left it and I can tell the minute I walk in a room. If Don had been able to talk when we got married, I would have put it in the vows that he couldn't move stuff....but then I wouldn't have had to because he pretty much respects my foibles.

Jean

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JEAN,

 

 

WE FINISHED AND ALL IS WELL. AFTER OVER 50 YEARS WITH THIS WOMAN, IT'S JUST FUN ARGUING. SHE STILL DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE THE MEASURMENTS. BUT THEN AGAIN, NONE OF US ARE PERFECT. ESPECIALLY ME.

 

MARTY uhm.gif

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Glad it's over and done with. Of course, you'd be safe if you killed your wife- you have a brain injury. Comes in handy sometimes. biggrin2.gif Let's face it Marty, how much was the marriage license? Pretty cheap considering all the blog material you got out of it.

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Phyllis,

 

Thanks for the laugh. When Don and I got married it cost over $400 for the ceremony, "reception" and the "honeymoon." which I thought was high since all we did was go to city hall with our brothers and their wives, out to dinner and to a movie.

 

Jean

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