Well this day is the Eve of my much anticipated 2 year recovery time tomorrow, the 15th. Like any other day, My mind is wondering. I'm still hoping for a somewhat normal left side control like I had about 6 months after my stroke up until a few months ago. That makes me think,(thats dangerous), about the brain cells that didn't die right away. Do they just remain dormant, half dead, or do they, in time, die also?

I feel like they died to cause me to have less control. I asked my neuro doc, he couldn't say in a way for me to understand his answer. He's the same doc that couldn't see any change in the MRI's from my onset and now. I exercise like crazy, up and down my 15 stair steps to the kitchen and bedroom. Still my leg and arm is tighter and I have less control than when I was at 6 months out. Seems to me, if I keep going in this direction, my walking will be stopped. It plays havoc on trying to get a nights sleep anymore without pains.

Then, I wonder about all the weather conditions in the world these days. On the west coast and in Seattle, Wa, rain, mudslides, homes being washed away. In Alabama, tornados, homes destroyed, lives in danger. The East coast, much the usual rain/snowey conditions. In Texas and Oklahoma, fires and drought, no rain in the forecast.

Seems like there are more people dying one after another, kids still bringing guns to school, molestors still molesting boys and young girls, domestic violence still rampant. Now, your cell phone is no longer safe from predators for sale to others wanting information about you. The whole sports world stars are going crazy doing unsportsmanlike acts to disgrace themselves. Even if I could, I wouldn't buy another ticket to any game. I could get a few sessions of therapy in rehab for the price of one game ticket these days.

Just about the time I start to pity myself for my condition, I go on my appointments to the VA hospital where I see many others my age range in worse conditions. As the saying goes, there is always someone better than you and still others in worse shape. That keeps me from feeling depressed, knowing I'm not alone in rebounding from a severe stroke. Instead, I thank God that he wasn't ready for me yet. Beside taxes, that's our final debt to be paid as sure as we were born.

To that I say, come on 2 years and I hope to be around for many more, just as some other members here has done. In fact if I recall, there is a couple members here have celebrated 20 years, that's a milestone in itself, so here I am on the highway to recovery as a survivor. I hope we all have many more years to come.

My last Blog was about Friday, the 13th, low and behold, I was not able to get on the message board all day. Maybe it only happened to me. Is that Myths or superstitions, well I'm aware of the site getting an overhaul, but I still wonder, what IF I was the only one, WOW. Is that possible? Thanks for the spell checker! I had 15 wrong, 10 mistyped, I hit the wrong key, it's easy to do.