Common emotional side-effects for caregivers:

* Anger

* Guilt

* Doubt

* Impatience

* Helplessness

* Resentment

* Depression and anxiety

Hey, I just pasted this here from a classic post Jean has just brought back for us.

I had a mixed day again today, some things went well, other things just got on top of me.

The "last straw" was something Ray did that Mum did as part of her Alzheimers. He put a few things on the dining table, a couple of plates, knives, cups and then he sat there as if there was a meal prepared. I could see him sitting there, looking around. I was out the back working on something else and yes, it was close to a meal time. I thought he must be hungry so I asked him what he wanted to eat and he looked at me and said a phrase Mum also used to say:"Oh nothing much for me thanks, you know just something small."

And where am I going to find this "something small" at this time of night? So he got a sandwich. He looked a bit unhappy but didn't say anything much, just took a long time to eat it, looking at me as he did it. I had some left over salad and I felt awful about this "nothing much" meal.

I used to have a husband with a robust appetite and a healthy body, he would enjoy steak or two as most Aussie blokes do. He could do a bit of cooking himself and Sunday nights were often his cooking nights. I used to potter on Sunday afternoons and then he would BBQ in summer or make meatballs or one of his other "Ray-can-do" recipes. He would enjoy it more I think because he cooked it himself.

I am building up a lot of resentment again, I am also getting nostalgic about what used to be. I think that was where I was when Ray wanted his small nothing-much meal. I know it is not his fault that he is loosing his appetite, having chewing difficulties and was sick twice yesterday. It is not his fault that I can't just whip up a salad or a stir-fry and expect him to sit down and eat it.

I have had all the feelings listed above today. I think I REALLY do need to get out more.