pam:

now you sound like human 2 me, i used to think u r like monk nothing bothers u, but ur mother-in-law does get to u,

you know i think sometime when people needs this wealth to realise the value of what they have.

now cheer up

asha

pam, i know that you are mad. but i NEVER realized just how much you and i have in common until i read this post!!!!!!!!! the ONLY reason i don't wish this on my husband is that i would end up having to take care of him!!!!! but he has so much wrong with him ANYWAY( real or imagined) that i'm probably going to end up being a nurse maid anyway.

i think that thoughts of revenge are good. god KNOWS they have kept me going before!!! i have been known to have said that the reason i think i survived was to mete out justice to all of the DESERVING. i hope that your anger "lets up", but it probably won't. i'm not going to pretend to be a "goodie goodie" and say that ......"anger only hurts YOU", because there will be plenty of people who will tell you that, but i think that there IS a certain amount of truth to it although it doesn't STOP my anger to know it!!!!

does any of that make sense???? anyway, i FEEL YOU PAIN very literally!!!!!!!!

kim

Pam, I can't tell you how many people I used to wish would be forced to live in a black hole. A hole like the one I was living in at the time. I actually got a card from a girl I barely knew, telling me to "get over it", she was tired of doing my job while I was off of work. The lack of compassion still amazes me. I haven't survived a stroke like you have, but I've wished my life experiences on certain people. It helped that something actually did happen to them all.

Pam; Thank you!!!!!

I was start to thinks is I am be only one person who is have is anger thinking ones! I was start for go to be is anger of be my own oneself and for give up....Was think am be only one who go for be frustrate, anger, resent. Everyone person is all time for go tell is to me I am so be is lucky for alive. Doctor are for tell me is to "get on with life". Are for good to be is my own one is hear is some other one person have feel like I am feel sometime is. Thank to you for be is brave to say what I am keep is inside sometime. Thank you.

Barbara

Sister Pam

i didn't read this blog until i was looking over someone else's shoulder and saw this title and followed it because it seemed interesting and...it was on your blog. i was too busy dealing with John's return to mania after 3 hours of being back at work to be on the board very much. then again, this blog IS from a year ago.

rage and the thirst for revenge and payback are not politically sanctioned or politically correct (unless you are our president, who started an entire war in Iraq because Saddam Hussein dissed his father;) however, they are normal human feelings and need to be processed and honored. many's the time that i have gotten through a particular trying time with John by wishing a car crash with a traumatic brain injury on his a*****e brother, or a stroke as bad as my dad's on one of his parents (they don't even believe that i have stroked, but that's because they are so ignorant, narrow-minded,and unintelligent.) as i continue to process my life through therapy, program, and talking to helpful people, and take more thyroid replacement hormone and add to my antidepressant armamentarium, i feel less and less like i want to personally drive the armored tank that hits John's brother's Corvette. but still, every now and then, it really does seem like a good idea.....

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

i will fear no evil: because i can be the meanest son-of-a-b**** in the valley.

i don't have to be, but it's comforting to know.

namaste

sandy