Hey Sue,

Sounds like to me, the bag you have been handed is full of hot air.

<<<<BIG HUGS>>>>

Kristen

Sue,

I know exactly what you mean about finding the time to do all those things for ourselves that "they" say we need to do. I do the best I can and use this website for my get-away but that doesn't solve the lack of sleep problem that comes with caregiving or the lack of money to run off to a gym to work out or take little get-aways.

I know a woman whose husband is in the same state physically and mentally as Don is in and she puts him in day-care four days a week while she plays and takes care of normal household business. She also has a paid caregiver to come in every day and help her husband get showered and ready for each day. They get all these services free because on paper they made him appear to be penniless by shifting all the assets into her name so they can qualify for state programs at no cost to them. I kind of resent that they are taking advantage of the public purse this way as they are not hurting for money. Her caregiver life is a breeze compared to yours or mine and our taxes dollars are helping her. Our neice, on the other hand, really did go through all her assets paying for health care before using the state program and she is the type of person the program is really meant to help. They should make these services available to all on a sliding scale of pay or do a better job of weeding out the cheaters.

Jean

Sue,

I am lucky because Rod can stay alone during the day and I can work. It gives me some time away. The rest of the time I am home. I couldn't stand dealing with people who weren't caregivers who thought they really knew how to handle everything. It took me three years to get to the point that I am not tired all the time. Now with my back problem It will start again. We are a tough lot aren't we.

Lynn

Jean, Sue, Kristen, and Lynn

i worked very hard with an elder attorney to have all of my dad's assets shifted to my mom so that he could qualify for Medicaid and get a 24 hour home health aide, medications, supplies, and equipment (Hoya lift, wheelchair, hospital bed, pump for feeding tube, etc) paid for (medicare would only pay for his equpment for 2 years.) my dad signed a power of attorney to me and i signed over his assets to my mom, who then hired a social worker to help her fill out the Medicaid application, which included a spousal refusal letter. my mom uses her "extra" time to shop for my dad and herself, go to her doctor's appointments, and go to temple meetings and services. my parents have more money than many people and some might say that they are 'taking advantage' of the system, and should spend their money until they exhausts their savings and then put my dad in a nursing home, where he would probably die within a few weeks because he wouldn't want to be there.

i don't believe that my parents are taking advantage of anything. my parents have worked extremely hard their entire lives and have paid into social security, medicare, and medicaid through their taxes. if my parents want my dad to be cared for at home, it is actually less expensive than putting him into a nursing home. rather than say that people like my parents are "taking advantage" of the health care system, we should instead ask why these benefits are not available to everyone who is middle class.

sandy

ps i think that all you caregivers deserve a round of applause and several big hugs.

Sandy,

I would agree with that...that these benefits should be made available to everyone. Our government is so screwed up!!!! Fairness is not part of their vocabulary.

Jean

Jean

what, OUR government is screwed up???? when our president is telling us that unemployment is receding and there is no global warming? SURELY you jest!!! :big_grin:

sandy

I agree Sandy. Given Ray's level of care, I "qualify" for two lots of three hours a week but there is only so much care funded. This is an ongoing problem as it is allocated Veterans first, then Aged and Frail then Under-aged Disabled which is Ray. So every time someone is interviewed who is more "qualified" than I am my name goes down the list rather than to the top of the list. So I have to have someone keeping an eye on it for me. My current social worker should be acting as my advocate but isn't. We don't have elder attorneys, social workers are allocated caseloads and should do their best to see their clients get a fair go.

I don't think it fair that it is all so competitive, and given that I have coped for seven years, while Ray has had his last four strokes with no care except the five hours on Mondays I think the government is getting a very cheap deal.

The four paid professionals running the course are very well paid and not paid on results, just on running the programs so no-one feels responsible or is accountable for my dilemma.

It is true that some of them fill their paper bags with "hot air" rather than helping with the problem.

I also found out today that the social worker had put down one of Ray's goals as "doing carpentry - children's toys etc" not bad for a man who has one hand and no balance. If you hear someone yelling:"Keep away from those power tools Ray." that will be me. If I haven't gone mad and jumped ship by then.

Sue,

I would go over that persons head to their boss. Carpentry what in god's name is that person thinking. That person has to be accountable to someone. I would make an appt and say everything that you are saying here. What have you got to loose. The only one who is going to fight for you and Ray is you. I would give them all a piece of your mind and then some about the situation. Their job is to help you which they don't seem to be doing!

Lynn

Hi Sue

I think many of us are figuring out that the empty bag is the one that the world has been left holding ever since the Bush crime family hijacked our government.

Does the game of musical chairs come to mind. :uhm:

Cheers

Tom