To continue with the story...

Last March 27th, Easter Sunday, was the day Lisa left for the Mayo Clinic. A little backtracking though...

Her Drs had told myself and her family there was nothing else they could do. Lisa was still continuing to stroke and they had tried everything. We had three options: continue with the current path of treatment, stop all treatment and let the strokes happen but make her a comfortable as possible, or go to the Mayo Clinic and try experimental treatment. To us, it was ball game, game over. We were all so tired from dealing with everything and everything appeared hopeless.

There was a large gathering of all Lisa's family at her parents house to decide what course to take. There was a lot of crying and we discussed her options well into the night. But, ultimately, it all fell on me. I sat quietly for about an hour thinking about it, listening to everyone. Looking back now, I don't think anyone realized it was my decision alone. Remember what was the main story in the news at this time? The Terri Schiavo case!! Now, here I was with the same dilemma. I couldn't watch TV without seeing something about it, and it was way too close to home.

Anyway, with our kids sitting next to me, I made my decision. I only said one sentence, " If she is going to leave me I want it to be quick and I don't want to make a case study out of her." That was it. I had just decided to let my wife die peacefully. Silence.........her parents agreed.

(I haven't told Lisa about this part of her journey yet. I'm not sure how she would take it. Would she think that I had just given up on her? Had already started to look at my life forward? I don't know and I'm not ready to deal with that yet.)

I go to the hospital the next day to inform her Drs what we plan to do. Then, here is the twist that saved her life. Because she is awake, unable to speak or move and using hand signals for yes or no questions only, the decision for her treatment isn't mine, IT"S HERS!!! So, a meeting is set up in her room with myself, her Drs, and the Social Worker assigned to Lisa.

Lisa is given the three options to decide. She is to squeeze my hand twice for yes, once for no. Each question was asked twice.

Do you wish to stop treatment?...One squeeze

Do you wish to continue treatment here?...One squeeze

Do you wish to go to the Mayo Clinic?... Two squeezes

O.K. we get it, but I have to ask you again Lisa, is that O.K.?...Two squeezes

Do you wish to stop treatment?...One squeeze

Do you wish to continue treatment here?...One squeeze

Do you wish to go to the Mayo Clinic?(At this point, Lisa turns and looks me in the eye)...Two FIRM squeezes

And that was it, she was going to the Mayo Clinic. Discussing everything with her a year later, here is the point when she starts to remember. From the ride down to the Mayo Clinic on she can recall. Nothing that went on a our local hospital.

In hindsight, I have thought much about the decision I made. I have "what if"ed it to death. I had no way of knowing what the outcome would be. Right now, as I sit here and type this, I have a better understanding. Would I decide the same thing?...Perhaps. Decide differently...Maybe. Thankful that Lisa was able to make the decision for herself...Definetely.

We have so much to look forward to. Just this past Saturday, Lisa had a hair appointment at the salon where she worked. She had a "crazy idea" to go without her wheelchair. It's not a long walk from the parking lot and she knew she could make it. And, she did it. Lisa was positively beaming when we returned home. It was the first time she had left the house without her chair.

Spring is starting to show it's head here in Minnesota. Blue skies are returning. Everything is looking bright.

Butch