Is this a new habit since your stroke of letting your piles of stuff get out of control? I would be curious to know.

Before his stroke my husband was very efficient about keeping a few areas of the house clean - it was like his pet peeve. He always kept the entry way tidy, and that ment sweeping and mopping our tile floor often. He also was the "dishwasher" and not too bad about cleaning up after himself when he cooked. Well that was all before stroke because he doesn't do any of it now, and I can't figure out if it is because he doesn't notice it needs to be done or it doesn't bother him..... or it is too difficult to do it one handed. I've tried asking him but he kind of looks at me like he doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about - as though he doesn't even see there is a change in his attitude toward cleaning......

-Karen

I notice the same thing. I let things pile up till they make me crazy (always getting to it is my cry to hubbie) and I really remember at first year it totally behooved me "how" to organize something like one of the kids room when we were doing a "sweep of extracting stuff". So then I started small, one drawer at a time. As they say- babysteps!

Now 31/2 years lator, I go in spurts and starts. Like the other day we were looking for the receipt to a laptop ( since my stroke I'm on my third cell phone cause I've lost two and accidently spilled coffee in two laptops due to someone startling me and the other by misjusdging where a cord was and sliding a coffee cup toward a laptop, I'm am the general source to being make fun of now- for being accident prone)we bought a couple years ago and found every other dang receipt for everything else in this house so then it sent me on a brainstorm to organize all the receipts for all the furniture, electronics etc and subdivide them by the room they are in and keep them listed in plastic envelope sheets (labeled by the room) in a big binder. Now if we need something it should be there, the appliances, like fridge, cooktop, ovens- kitchen envelope everything like that. But it took me a couple years to be able to think like that- I remember at first not bing able to think like that even tho I desperately wanted to. I pride myself on being able to put my finger on whatever whenever--never did find the dang receipt for that laptop tho...... :bop: Not just the receipts, the book on operating it kinda stuff too. And I've also got all the furniture costs together in one folder, insurance co people also say take a video of house contents and store somewhere safe in case of fire, the best way to prove you owned what you claim in case of fire,.... :blush:

There's a little project for ya AJ, something you and the wife can do some weekend when it rains- (that's what we did)

You know, part of this 'messy corner' sydrone is really a decorationg problem to be solved. You have to look at the type of stuff that collects in a certain place and find suitable ways to have it there in a more organized way such as a bedside table with lots of drawers and nice looking magazine rack along side of it. I have a small, table height book rack near my bed with baskets on the shelves for various stuff that seems to end up there. It's silly and impractical to think that a person and spend a lot of time in a certain chair or place and NOT need some good looking, mini storage solutions near by.

Jean

You know AJ you may have stumbled on to calling attention to another "invisible" stroke deficit. I once was a very highly organized clean freak in another life. Now I open bills up once I find them two months later. I bring the mail in, set it down and something gets set on top of it and the piles just multiply like rabbits.

Now that Bill lives here too, he's guilty of the same disorganization I am. When I finally do tackle the piles of junk all over, I always vow, not to start it up again. But I do and I don't see it growing on a daily basis.

My newest thing is to put things "in a safe place" in my attempt at being more organized, but you know what? I can't remember where the safe place is and I forget about it all in a short time....plus we're moving so it will all eventually be found. I'm startiing to realize in all reality that the word "Eventually" is really a word that is the stroke survivors friend, it really says it all and has become part of my daily philosphy and outlook on life.

Pam

hey AJ :

As usual I will start with my story and then come to punch line, when I stroked, doctors were saying its very big infarct so they were also worried about my cognative, multitasking ability and all along I was saying and denying that its not affected, yes my speed of doing things have slowed down bit, but during that time I did see my hubby was getting overloaded with lot of work, so I vowed to put in my 50% in household things and taking care of mail and taking care of my son's school needs. Initially we had full time help at home but we were paying small fortune for it, so I finally made my hubby trust me with all house responsibilty, and what I saw big improvement in my mental health, even in cooking, laundry,cleaning,emptying dishwater, it all needed some planning,multitasking activity, and more I did, more comfortable I became, so instead of bribing your doctor, I will bribe you $100 do lot more at home, taking incharge of finance at home, though finance was never my forte, but I help in sorting out mail and filing them right away. There r some tricks I m learning, never put off anything which you can do right now, that way less clutter and it does not become huge mess to sort out later sorry blabbered on

Asha

Thanks for all the responses. I'm glad this isn't some wierd thing just about me. I never realized how much keeping a house clean was about organization and multitasking and planing. Those are things I have the most trouble with.

Asha you are taking my wifes side huh? I thought I had the husbands perfect excuse for not doing housework, all I had to do was have a simple itsy bitsy little stroke :Argh: You are right though, working on that stuff and planning will be good therapy. It is just that my prefered therapy involves a ballgame and a TV remote! :happydance: The last time I unloaded the dishwasher, which was earlier this week I'm proud to say, :Clap-Hands: it took me over 30 minutes at least. I spend most my time wondering around the kitchen trying to figure out what to do with stuff. I should install a Nanny-Cam in our house. I bet my antics during the day would be hilarious. Actually it might not be to exciting watching me walk around the kitchen trying to figure out what to do with a coffee cup for 10 minutes. You will be happy to know Asha that today my wife asked me to organize the counter to the right of our kitchen sink. For some reason that has become my most recent mini landfill. Oh and by the way I have become addicted to the three new flavors of Fresca that are out, Citrus, Peach and Black Cherry. I leave those cans all over the place.

AJ and all,

My comments don't reflect the pack rat thread but after reading these blog comments I was reminded about an article i ran across on the web the other day that i was going to submit under Other disussiion but thought maybe here better.

Tom

From salary.com

"We consulted Stay at Home and Working Moms to determine the top 10 jobs that make up a mom's job description. If paid, Stay at Home Moms would earn $134,121 annually (up from 2005's salary of $131,471). "

After reading this I told DW that i wanted a raise.

AJ,

Maybe you need to start wearing an apron with pockets you'd always have a place to put things.

Tom,

What did Jenny say when you told her that?

Jean

Jean

If my work didn't improve, she threatened to withhold or cut out my fringe benefits. And if that didn't work than she said she might have to consider outsourcing the job to someone else.! :yikes:

Tom,

Jenny sounds like my kind of woman. Thanks for the chuckle. Maybe I should have thought of outso :big_grin: urcing a year or so ago.....

Pam

Well this is just great! Here this seems t be the most popular post in my blog and the one that more people identify with and I have to make a confession.

The task I told Asha that my wife had left me to do on Friday, the organization of the right side of the sink was undone untily my wife did it today. It is like I just am off on another planet and see things differently than the way they are. Thank God I have such a patient understanding wife.... for now at least.

OHHH I like these ideas! I'm on strike today... :Tantrum: :Clap-Hands:

They all can pick up after themselves and wash their own clothes and cook their own meals...

I'm taken care of me and (of course!) the cat....she whines too sometimes but atleast I can't understand cat yet so she safe in my book......besides she's cute....I'm only worrying about us! :sleazy:

:2cents: Another two cents, I noticed the first year, that we seem to be more concerned with our own selves and what we want to do than with what else the world feels we should be concerned about.

And actually the the realm of things, we could give a darn (during this time) with what anyone thinks on this at the time. It slowly wears off but its almost like- hey we survived the mother of all mindbenders-so we get a pass for a time to care about what we only want to care about and concern ourselves with.

Like all things, it too shall pass and then we'll be back to being concerned about the more "unimportant" concerns in life.

"housework is misspent time!" :big_grin:

Scrappier,

I agree 100%. I get down for a while when I find new things I can't do, when I lose my job etc. But deep down there is almost an "I don't really care" feeling. It is kind of like a long lasting shock my mind and body has gone into. I believe things will normalize in time. I can already see "normal" things creeping back into our routine.

Unfortunately this seems to happen after every stroke, so each time Ray has a stroke it seems as if we have a year out of our lives. We just get over that and are out and about and something else throws him for a loop!!

Keep as on the ball as much as you can AJ, caregivers do fade away if they don't see you putting in an effort too. I know for me it is sometimes hard to see all this as "worth the effort" too.

Sue.

Thank you Sue,

You know when a survivor has a good caregiver, and I have an awesome one, it is easy to sit back and let them "give care" and forget to give something back. I appreciate the reminder.