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justsurviving

Entry posted by justsurviving

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I really like made-up words. My dad says things 'in all seriosity' his reasoning is if you can be curious and ask something in curiosity, why can you be serious and say something in seriosity?!

 

I got my Masters degree at the State University of New York at Binghamton and one of my fellow classmates used to 'dilemmanize' over situations, 'I'm dilemmanizing over...' I liked how it turned into a verb.

 

Before I came here, I never knew that 'stroke' could be used not only as a noun, but also as a verb, adjective, etc. - awesome!

 

------------------------------------------------------------ :cocktail:

 

Every so often, I think to myself:

 

Oh My God

 

I Had A Stroke. I HadA Stroke. IHadAStroke! IHadAStroke! IHadAStroke! IHadAStroke!

 

And then it just runs all together into a freaky realization that I survived one of the top 3 killers (heart disease, cancer, stroke) and I am amazed.

 

------------------------------------------------------------ :beer:

 

When I first got out of the hospital, I was still out of it in a very weird way - happy, ignorant, bland. Then I started to wake up and notice how much I have been affected & how different my life is, how different I am from my old self and everyone around me. I was bitter and threw plenty of pity parties for myself while my dear hubby didn't know what to say or do.

 

I'm better. I'm no longer ignorant or bland (and mostly happy though). The bitterness has receded. Slowly. I realized today that I no longer want desperately to trade places with other people, I don't feel AS different as I first did.

 

I still feel incredibly vulnerable physically and mentally. I used to run and it made me feel more prepared, for what I don't know, but I felt as though if someone were to start chasing me, it would at least take a leetle bit longer for them to catch me (not much, but a leetle). I can't run yet. It makes me feel weak and exposed. My thinking is slower, I wonder if people have scammed me because I may be clueless...

 

------------------------------------------------------------- :im stupid:

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swilkinson

Fan-jolly-tastic that you have survived with all your marbility intact.

 

I love words myself and my favourite quote from Shakespeare for a long time was "But me no buts and and me no ands." a lot of people look a little mazed if you say that to them.

 

I am glad your old self is reawaking, and when finding itself in a new, more limited body is prepared to make the space its own.

 

Sue.

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