I didn't realise that letting Ray go off into the unknown of "Scallywags" would feel so like waving the children off on the school bus for the first time. We got ready early then he sat on the verandah and waited in the sun. I went into chat for a while, then left Debbie(sorry) to go and make sure we were okay for the bus at 11.30am. Waited, waited, waited. A red car turned into our driveway at 11.55am. A volunteer had come on place of the bus which has gone in the other direction. AAAARGGGH!!

Another technical hitch here is that we are close to the shire boundary which in some ways is similar to the American county line. Different local government areas are under differently (project based) funding which comes through our Federal government's funding for Health and Disability Services. So although the Wyong Community transport comes past the end of the street they can't pick Ray up, he has to go on the Gosford Community bus. So he will come home on a bus that does a trip for about an hour and a half before it gets back to us, it's last stop. At least he will get a tour of the Central Coast. And on a lovely blue sky day like today that should be well worth the trip.

I didn't really know how to spend the time when he was gone. I actually sat at the shopping centre, just a place to be and drink coffee in what is a busy surrounding and did some thinking. I don't mind being alone in a busy place. When I am an old lady with hairs on my chin you will see me there, bundled up warm, talking to my old contemporaries, just like the tables full of older ladies there today. And in my eyes there is nothing wrong with that. I always put down as one of my goals: "to grow old gracefully". I know that might seem woozy to some folk who want to rant and rave into old age, but who wants to be around a person that is snarling at life? I saw a few of the happy smiling ones there today too, just plump and pleasant woman now growing old. I want to be one of them.

And of course I worried for nothing. Ray came home on a little white bus (the fourteen passenger kind) he was helped up the driveway till he reached the railings, the pleasant bus driver said; "Bye, Ray, see you next week." and that was that. No, he hadn't had the complete tour of the Central Coast, instead the bus drivers just re-allocated the load between them and he was the second person dropped. The invisible line had been rubbed out by a common sense approach. And he had had a great time, with fish and chips for lunch not sandwiches!Whew! No falls, no "accidents" just a half day as part of an all male group of younger Stroke Survivors, "Scallywags" all.

So what will I do with this bonus time on Fridays from 11.30am till 3.15pm ? Maybe invite different girlfriends to lunch? Spend some time chatting? Because as much as Ray needs all male company sometimes I also need some female company. Not necessarily tea and sympathy but "girl talk".

Some changes in life free us up to new possibilities.