I have been up since 6am, that would have been 5am yesterday. I got up early because I was afraid if I stayed in bed I would go back to sleep. Church time was changed too, back half an hour to 9am as there was a farewell for a retired minister who has been helping out, mainly with elder care, visiting nursing homes and retirement villages of which we have several in our parish. I know he will be missed as all ministers bring a different flavour to the service.

Ray and I stayed on to the lunch, which was separated from morning tea by an hour of chatting, a lovely chance to catch up with people we have not been able to say much more to than good morning. Those who have read a lot of my blogs know how much angst I went through prior to the closing of our old church and yes, as predicted I am starting to feel more at home at the present one. Like stroke recovery it doesn't come all at once, you have to recognise what you have lost and work on improving the situation and then move on. I think I am getting towards the moving on point now as I felt for the first time when we went in to lunch:"I must talk to "X" and "Y", rather than looking around to see if anyone was coming over to talk to me. I am not saying I feel at home there yet, just that it no longer seems a strange place.

I also told a few people Ray was going in to respite to give me a break. Some people did look at me strangely after all Ray is a pleasant younger looking invalid with a cheerful manner and "how much trouble can it be to look after him?" Those who live with someone with multiple disabilities and some dementia can answer that I know. But without a break the stress levels would build up even higher and the resentment close to the surface at times might just cause an emotional earthquake that would take a toll on our relationship I would regret later. Let's say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

On Friday I paid for Ray's respite and also went for Mum's annual assessment interview. She doesn't have to attend it now as I am both her power of attorney and official next of kin. My sister and I are co-heirs but my sister has visited the Dementia Lodge once since my Mum has been there. And that was because I insisted so she wouldn't later suggest she should have been some place else.

One of the things discussed was her falls and they said that I needed to sign a Risk Management Consent form if I wished her to stay at her present level of care. So I did. I know this is to save them making the decision but I want her to enjoy the benefits of being there in what are now very familiar surroundings for as long as she is aware of where she is. I know the shift to the other side of the road to the nursing home will come eventually but for up till Christmas at least would like her to stay where she is. After all she is on minimum medication and while requiring a high level of supervision does not need a high level of care.

With my daughter and her family also packing up now to make the move to Queensland, my daughter-in-law anticipating her return to work at the end of February and the move for Ray to go into respite for the first time it seems as if much more than the times are changing now.

BTW by the time you all put your clocks forward I will be 16 hours ahead of the time in New York.