T'is the season to be jolly and Ray and I have been overdoing it. This has resulted in Ray having three bad days in a row. His confusion levels have resulted in us having arguments all three days and I am sick of it. I know he has had strokes and he has dementia but now he is driving me crazy.

One of his new problems is that he can't find anything. If I say; "It is over there." and point he will still walk right past whatever it is he is looking for. It is as if the desired object and what he has in his mind no longer match up. I would say this is a dementia problem. He has just had the dosage of his dementia med doubled but it doesn't seem to have had any effect so far, in fact I would say it has had the opposite to the required effect as he seems more confused not less.

Of course it is the party season and even the few parties and meetings we have attended have gone twice as long as usual so we are away from home more and he is not getting as much sleep in the afternoon as usual. So I am looking forward to the break between Christmas and New Year when hopefully he will be able to catch up on his sleep and maybe have a better focus on life.

Yesterday we went to our usual Lions Club dinner but it was the Christmas version. There was some problems with the numbers so for a while we were at one table and then moved to another. I know this agitated Ray as he hates to have to move, and maybe the bigger meetings now where we have members, spouses and guests are presenting too much stimulus etc and he is finding this over powering. He switches off and then I can't get an answer out of him if I ask a question, he doesn't speak to his table companions etc. Last night it was obvious that despite the festive atmosphere and the wonderful buffet etc he was not happy. I don't know how we will go in future if this does not improve. We may have to give up Lions or attend only those meetings without guests.

He was also confused about what day it was, why we had to go out, why he couldn't just sit on the verandah and said: "You should just go out if that is what you want to do, I don't need to go out all the time". As we had lunch with a couple of old friends and it was for his benefit as much as for mine I didn't take any notice of this and off we went. I think he enjoyed it once we got out but maybe life is becoming a lot more effort for him now. For a man of 64 he acts a lot more like 84 some days.

Today started badly as I overslept. I have been having trouble with an old digestive tract disease flaring up again. It runs in our family, Mum had it and was treated unsuccessfully for ulcers. Anyhow I was up half the night, finally got to sleep long after 3am. So overslept and had to do all the planned jobs at double speed, we had an "accident" because of that, I managed to make a mess in the laundry room which made me further behind etc. I guess you get the picture.

Then my computer wouldn't pick up Strokenet and I missed chat, last time I rang my sister and she contacted Bonnie, this time my sister wasn't home so apologies to all who came on and found no Caregiver host on. We got to the shopping centre late for our shift selling tickets but the people we relieved were understanding. I felt so tired just sitting there, but there was shopping to do when we had finished and by the time we got home we were both too tired and past caring to eat. It is still the "silly season" I guess.

So friends, take it easy as the "silly season" continues. And as your mother used to tell you:"Don't do as I do, do as I say". Don't overdo it.