Aging, like it or not
When I first got out of the hospital and was a PT regular, I saw a cute little toddler trying to learn to walk and I thought "I feel your pain, sister" I truly felt connected as I tried so much to learn to walk again. A friend often told me that there is a reason that it takes children a long time to learn to walk - otherwise there would be crazed lunatics running around and into everything, without the experience of falling down and getting the hang of it. I know he was trying to tell me to be patient, but by golly patience has never been my strong point.
In many ways, I have felt that I am aging again. Right now, I am in adolescence - I feel graceless and unsure what to do with my body and how to handle social situations.
Being reminded on a constant basis of my limitations has pummeled my sense of self, my confidence, my knowledge of myself - I am relearning this (adolescence revisited & I didn't like it the first time around!). I am trying to determine what I can do, what I can't do, nevermind 34 years of experience.
I am traveling through the second aging quickly & hope to make it to adulthood soon. With some grace, self confidence and self worth.
I wake up each day changed, whether it is recognized or significant or not. The truly infinitesimally small changes are impossible to notice but to look back over the last month(s), I feel as though I have been waking up, so slowly.
Here is to waking up! :beer:
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