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my worst enemy




My Dad had a saying "I think he is his own worst enemy." Well I think sometimes I am mine.


For one thing I can wake up full of positive thoughts and Susie Sunshine philosophy but it only takes one small thing to go wrong and my attitude changes. I don't mean to be negative, but a few minutes late for "X" and I feel as if the world is falling apart around me. I rant and rave, stamp and scold and finally Ray will be ready, so down the road and into the "late for wherever" traffic jam. Our main road is always under road construction somewhere or other so 50% of the year there is a hold up somewhere nearby. Grrr! How I hate some mornings!


Then I still make snap judgements, most of the time I am a kind friendly thoughtful person but let something go wrong and all that changes. I become a mad woman clawing anyone who comes close. I can snap a caller on the end of the phone, hang up in the ear of a telemarketer, push in front of a car crawling across my lane, out-run older folk to get one place up in the queue at the supermarket. Don't they know I only have three hours to do all I need to do? I seem to have a madness take over my life sometimes. The constraints of time act like a strait jacket and cut off my goodness and I become as dog-eat-dog as all the ungodly out there.


Of course a lot of this is down to stress. Since Ray has been home from hospital and we have added a physio appointment on Tuesday mornings and a doctor's visit Friday afternoon each week that has added tension to the week. But Ray was back at Daycare this week though so at least I got the time off while he was there and tomorrow will be Ray's second 9am-12noon time with a minder and my second three hours break so things should start to fall into place again soon.


On the cheerful side we did finally have a meal out with Ray's sister and her husband, she has been ringing since November and promising that we would go out "soon" so am glad the time finally arrived. It is not that she's not a nice person, she is, but as a couple they are very self-absorbed and I think everyone else is just on the edge of their universe. Others have said in their blogs we are not always in the forefront of every one's minds and that is so true. Our tragedies seem devastating to us, but to others they are just another bit of bad news and you know for sure they think of us occassionally. But as Ray' sister said today: "By the time I start to think of ringing anyone it is way too late at night." I can fully understand that as the same applies to me sometimes too.


The other good news is that my Dad's one remaining brother who lives in Ontario, Canada is thinking of coming to see us for another holiday in September or October. It is a very long way from him to us so I really appreciate even the thought that he might come and see us. He is a great friend to have too, always in touch as soon as something goes wrong. He said that he would like to visit us one more time. I hope he is able to do so.


There is always some good things to look forward to. Cooler weather, sunny warm days, nights cool enough to sleep, plenty of nice fruits and vegetables in the shops. The shorter days will give me more time to work on some of my cold weather projects, so out with the crochet hook and the knitting needles and the patterns. Time to put the feet into the warm slippers, wrap the blanket around the legs and dream. If you think that is going to happen YOU must be dreaming.


So t'is time to finish the chores of the day and put on the dinner. Always something to do. Before my worst enemy appears on the scene and wrecks my peaceful thoughts again.



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Bless you dear lady. You are coping w/so much right now. You know what you need? (Besides a stiff drink? :cocktail: ) a :friends:

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Sue-- Some days are like that, yeh, they are. Hopefully the winds will bring a change for you. Just know you are doing the best you can. Some days you get more and some days less. Just doing your best is good enough. Take Care. LK


PS: I vote for the drink. That's a given. I always said, if my dr. ever told me not to drink, I'd find a new dr. I like a glass of wine at night but I really love a good glass of champagne. So here's to you, Sue.... :cocktail: :cocktail: (I usually stick to one drink but for you....see what lengths I'll go to for my friends?? Love those cyber drinks! :big_grin: :big_grin: ) Take Care. LK

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Sue, I have just read your last few blogs that I have missed out on I know what you mean about the slightest thing can turn you into a different person I also feel that,I think it is because we used to have someone to buffer it (Ray & Baz) & now we have to cope on our own & make all the decisions so it is easier to snap that probably we used to, also you have been through a lot these past few months & have had to reorganize your life once again!

At least Ray is going back to daycare so you will have a bit more free time, but it does go so quickly doesn't it ...

I have been cooking tea, cleaning up & trying to catch up on the blogs etc in between downloading a photo onto the gallery & now realise that I downloaded the same picture twice.. TOO MUCH to do, so I don't know how you do it. I am in awe of all you manage to do in one day & I am sure that Ray appreciates it.

Hope your new bathroom is done or at least well on the way !

Thinking of you, Anne.

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Anne, you are so right. A lot of the stress comes from being "the brains for two" so am not only thinking of what I have to do to get ready to go out, but also what Ray has to do. I also have to put it all to him in tiny, easy-to-understand instructions so he and I get out of the door together. And now with the new meds plus the insulin I seem to have to concentrate so hard to get it all right in the mornings which is when most of our appointments are. But it is doable.


The shower room is ready for the tiler. I have blue spots on my hands and arms from painting on the wet sealer so that was my bit and the disposal of all the rubble etc. The tiler hopefully comes next week to do his bit, then we await the return of the plumber.


Nice photos of you and Baz in the Gallery. Maybe you could post a bio for you and for Baz so others get to know you better.



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Hi lady!


It's been so long snce we talked and I really got to thinking after we got to chat a bit the other night - LOL - I had a "doh" moment - forgot totally about writing to you here - feel very bad - but have you on th faves now so it will remind me!!! :hug: Am so sorry to hear about things going a bit backward - sometimes this recovery stuff does seem to go "one step forward, two steps back", but you keep going forward - and you, love do a great job of going on, going around, and going wherever you need to be.....

Hope today you woke up with a great big :big_grin: and that it stayed that way for just a litlle bit longer than yesterday and that tomorrow it will stay a bit longer thn today -


Lots of love, :hug: 's and good thoughts coming your way-

and, yes a little :cocktail: with the rest of the ladies ;)

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