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Ray's home again



Ray is home at last. I left here after chat to go and get him. I found him sitting in the lobby to the hostel where he had respite. When I asked him where his luggage was he said to ask the receptionist. She called the supervisor and she went in and brought it all out on a trolley. The hostel is not open to the public until tomorrow but they decided Ray could come home today anyway as he was out of his quarantine period. I was really thankful for that.


I enjoyed the break from Ray but we have been married nearly 39 years and I miss him when he is not around. I think he was glad to get home too. He didn't have many memories of his two weeks stay, just said he was lonely the last four days as he was not allowed out and his meals were brought to his room. As a way to stop the spread of infection lock-down is a good method but it is hard on those who suddenly find themselves isolated by the experience. The viral gastritis is currently affecting a few of the local nursing facilities so lets hope it is soon contained and no new cases arise.


We went to the church to help with kids club this afternoon. I was the rostered kitchen helper. I will just do this when they are desperate. As Ray sleeps in the afternoons 3.15pm is not an ideal time for us to be out but I thought it would also break the routine for him, which it did. I have been involved in kids clubs for many years so it was good to see that kids still enjoy the same things, the games, the craft, the story. Mind you they still wriggle like a can of worms just like we used to when we were forced to sit still and listen at Sunday school, so nothing really changes.


There are new ideas in my head since I have been away. From a distance you can look at a problem from the outside and weigh the options. I need to do some minor house repairs again, I wish I could claim it on insurance but most of it is wear and tear. So I need to contact a few tradesmen and get some quotes. I always find it harder to do the things which were once Ray's responsibility, like arranging for tradesmen to call. Somewhere in the back of my mind the world is still divided into men's work and women's work. I know it is old fashioned thinking in this day and age but I have to over-rule that inner voice that says:"Not my job, let someone else do it." As a caregiver I have assumed Ray's jobs along with his care, so really it is all "Sue's job".


I have a couple of busy weeks ahead of us with extra doctors appointments etc. Pathology too as Ray has a regular monthly appointment and it is blood work time again. There is always more than enough to fill our week up. The pattern of our days remains roughly the same week by week but the extras seem to fill in any spare time I think I have. The weekend is really just Saturday as Sunday is filled up with church and either family contact or gardening in the afternoon. I still have a pile of postcards I told myself I would send off as soon as I got back from Cairns, and I didn't tidy the cupboards out as I planned. It is true that over the years we all get slower and routine housework etc all takes longer.


Tomorrow morning I will start life once more with Ray's insulin, helping him dress etc. I will soon start complaining that I am tired, the work is too much for one person etc. But for now I am glad he is home.


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Glad to hear that Ray is home. As you 2 settle into your daily routines, I do hope that you are able to have "spare time" for you so you don't feel bogged down again.

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hey Sue:


Glad to hear Ray is home again, can you delegate some of your workload to Ray of calling people, such that he also feels good.




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are their any older retired men at church that would probably love to do these things also, and the bonus is they are knowledgeable also, so many times when the men age and can no longer do the physical work threy loose the feeling of being able to keep their family safe. glad ray is back home, i am sure he didn't quite realize why he couldn't be in the middle of everyone, I get the impression he loves people, and genuinely enjoys interacting with everyone he meets, any time he needs a girlfriend just let me know. I admire all you are able to do with him. but especially your spirit, both of you are in my prayers often

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Good to hear Ray is home Sue and I admire you so much in all you do. Congrats on the 39 years!..Wow! almost 40 years soon. That is so awesome!You and Ray are AWESOME!

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nice to hear Ray is home ... Now don't go wearing yourself out...remember to take time for yourself and try and rest when Ray does and it will keep you sane,, I know I had to,, the dusting and cleaning can wait.. good luck and God bless Deenie

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Glad Ray is home, and you had a nice vacation with family. Will the men that helped do the walk in bath for Ray help you out? yes church members are a great idea.. and also Boy Scouts will often help.

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I'm also glad Ray is home. Alone time is great but we do miss our partners when they're not around. Don't forget to take Sue time - that is as important as taking care of Ray. <<<<HUGS>>>>

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