LUCY Episode 1
THE OTHER NIGHT IN CHAT I MENTIONED THAT I HAD A FUNNY STORY
ABOUT MY DOG AND A CALL TO POISON CONTROL, BUT IT WAS FAR TOO LONG TO SHARE IN CHAT SO I'LL SHARE IT HERE. THIS WAS ONE OF MY CLASSIC "LUCY" MOMENTS.
I HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED AND WE BOUGHT AND MOVED IN TO OUR FIRST HOUSE. I SAW SOME ANTS IN THE BATHROOM SO NOT HAVING ANY CHILDREN, I THOUGHT IT WAS FINE TO BUY AND PLACE ANT TRAPS THERE. AS I WAS ABOUT TO GET IN THE SHOWER TO GO TO WORK ONE MORNING, I NOTICED THE TRAP WAS FLIPPED OVER AND THE DOG HAD A TINY DROP OF WHITE FROM THE TRAP ON HER NOSE. THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE BOX TO INDICATE WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS HARMFUL TO HER. I THOUGHT IT BEST I CALL POISON CONTROL TO CHECK RATHER THAN COME HOME FROM WORK AND FIND THE DOG DEAD.
I'LL WRITE THE REST AS DIALOGUE TO MAKE IT A BIT EASIER TO FOLLOW. KEEP IN MIND THE OPERATOR THINKS I'M TALKING ABOUT A CHILD.
ME: HELLO, MY DOG MAY HAVE JUST EATEN A SMALL BIT OF ANT POISON
OP: WHAT HAVE YOU DONESOFAR?
ME: JUST GAVE HER SOME MILK IN A BOWL. SHE LAPPED IT UP. SHE SEEMS OKAY.
OP: HOW OLD IS SHE?
ME: I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE. I THINK A LITTLE OVER A YEAR.
OP: WHEN IS HER BIRTHDAY?
ME: MMM SOMETIME IN FEBRUARY I THINK
OP: HOW MUCH DOES SHE WEIGHT?
ME: ABOUT 45 POUNDS
BY NOW SHE HAS TO HAVE FAMILY SERVICES ON THE OTHER LINE!
OP:WHAT IS SHE DOING NOW?
ME: SHE JUST LAYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR BY MY FEET.
WAIT I'LL NUDGE HER WITH MY FOOT. SHE JUMPED UP . SHE SEEMS FINE.
OP: WHAT'S HER NAME?
ME: BEN
OP: EXCUSE ME?
ME: BEN
OP: CAN YOU SPELL THAT?
ME: B E N J I
OP: YOUR DAUGHTER'S NAME IS BENJI???
ME: NOT DAUGHTER....DOG!!!
OP: OMG I THOUGHT YOU SAID DAUGHTER YOUR DOG WILL BE FINE
BEN MANAGED TO OUTLIVE MY FIRST MARRIAGE AND LIVE TO THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 17.
5 Comments
Recommended Comments