My entire left side is sore today. The joints hurt, the muscles ache, and I'm feeling a little lopsided ... it's weird because my right side was effected by the stroke. I don't even want to drive the three blocks to the grocery store, I have tuna in the house so, the cats will get fed, even if we've run out of cat food. Two more days to go and I hit the six month mark, maybe then I won't worry about every ache and pain. Every time my face "tingles" with the onset of a "hot flash," I want to call the doctor thinking I'm having another stroke. I am doing so well with my recovery - last night I actually held a "rocks" glass in my right hand! - but, I'm scared of what could happen. I'm new at this, and I face the future with trepidation. I've bought a journal - actually two. One for Katie and one for Ryan. With luck, they'll never read them. Without luck, they'll know I love them, and hopefully through the journals I can still influence thier futures, even if something, like another stroke, happens to me. Yes, I'm being weird, worried about my mortality and my children's future. I think a stroke does that to every survivor but, they won't admit it. Survivor's know there's no such thing as immortality. Our laughter hides our fears. And now, I'll go into chat, hoping someone there will make me laugh, so the fear, the anger, ... and the weirdness, will be easier to bear.