This morning, after a restless night of trying to get well needed rest, I have decided to come to the one place where I can put my words down on paper ..... My heart is broken and I just keep rethinking of our conversation yesterday. When the phone rang, I had no idea of who was going to be on the other end. I had just gotten in from my Dr's appt. As I answered the ringing phone, I was surprised to find out it was Lindy and she was crying. Her own Dr's appt didn't go so well. She rec'd the news we have been dreading that was a possibility. She was advised she needed to get to the U of MD Hospital asap to meet with the Surgeon for a major consultation to get things started for placing her name on the Liver Transplant List. So many thoughts were running through her mind and as I tried with everything I have, my faith in GOD, to stay strong and not let on my heart was breaking and the tears just kept strolling down my face. All 43 years of our friendship flashed in front of my eyes. I had a quick flash that reality was setting in, I could lose my dear friend. Those words stung BIG TIME. I can't imagine my life without Lindy. She means the world to me. She was one of the friends pre stroke that hasn't left me through my Stroke ordeal. She goes above and beyond the scope of what the true meaning of True Friend means. We are "sisters".... We have been there for one another, through her divorce, through losing my Mom, my Uncle Rex, who helped to raise me, he was like my DAD, and the other 7 family member who have died along with My precious 15 cancer children, , Lindy has been there to rejoice in my accomplishments and there to pick me up when things didn't go so well or as expected. I have been there for her in the same way. We have weathered a lot in our 43 years of friendship. I just won't take this sitting down, I told her we were warriors and we are going to beat this Liver problem. If it is in God's will that this be her journey, then we discussed how we will accept it, We might not like it, but,we know he calls us when it is his time. I vowed to her I would be there in any way I can. I offered to go with her when she goes to the U of MD Hospital for the special meeting with the Surgeon. She said it would be too hard on me. There she is, that's Lindy. Always concerned for me. I told her I would drive her if I could still drive. It's times like this that I get angry because I can't be there like a true friend would be. I can't go spend the night with her and be there as support, help her by doing her laundry, clean her house, cook for her, etc. All I can offer her are my prayers and phone calls. I told her I am here 24/7. I know she understands and she knows I love her. We were together on December 26th, my Birthday, we went out to lunch. I spent the day with my other friend, Karen, and my friend Mary (she had a stroke a year ago and I have been mentoring her ever since and her Nurse, Mary) we had a wonderful day. Little did we know this was in the side lines waiting to pop up and surprise us. I know from the miracle for Ben when he rec'd his kidney transplant recently that it can turn out a positive thing, Ben is doing great, enjoying his new lease on life with his wife and daughter. His holidays were great and he is off the dialysis now. I only hope and prayer things will go as well for Lindy. I need to remain positive and keep my prayers going strong for her. She is scared, which is natural. She is going through the Stages now and I will be here for her. I just let her do the talking as I think she needed a shoulder. I feel better writing in my Blog and I am greatful I have such a good resource to type my thoughts. I just keep thinking of all the good and bad times we have shared. She has a beautiful singing voice and I remember when I was in the hospital and rehab, she would visit and sing for me, it relaxed me and I would fall asleep and she stayed and just prayed for me. I remember after I was improved after I got home, I had told Wayne that I would love for us to renew our wedding vows and he agreed. I asked Lindy if she would sing "Grow Old Along Along With Me, The Best Is yet To Be' she said yes, she'd love to be a part of our renewal. She never sounded better. Here are the words to the song she sang:

Grow Old With Me lyrics

(John Lennon)

Grow old along with me

The best is yet to be

When our time has come

We will be as one

God bless our love

God bless our love

Grow old along with me

Two branches of one tree

Face the setting sun

When the day is done

God bless our love

God bless our love

Spending our lives together

Man and wife together

World without end

World without end

Grow old along with me

Whatever fate decrees

We will see it through

For our love is true

God bless our love

God bless our love

After reading the words just now, it seems like it goes for true friendship as well. Take out the husband and wife words and put in friend/like a sister and it seems it sums it all up. I have been through so much with Lindy, the joys when she gave birth to both of her sons, the sorrow when she lost her Mom and Dad, we can relate on so many things, She had a very abusive hubby and I helped her teach her sons how to ride a bike, how to hit a baseball, gosh, how we laughed through that.... finally some Dad's on their league came to the "plate" and sorta took over the teaching part of things. I think her sons were happy that "Lucy and Ethel" were sent to the bench. We would take her boys to the carnivals when they were in town, do things with them, the movies, bowling, everything. I was a safe haven when her husband would come home and decided to punch holes in the walls, she could come to my home and be safe with the boys. We always seemed to live near each other. It was, as I call them, "A God Thing".. Her joy in life are her Grandchildren. I know she will fight to stay here. I am just praying she can find the peace she needs. I know she has a great faith, a strong faith, and we are prayer warriors together. I explained to her she is on a new Journey now and she is going to be such an inspiration to everyone around her. She fought for me and now I am returning the favor.

I am going to call her this morning and see how she is doing. Thank you for taking the time to come visit me today and learn about why A Miracle is Needed..... For my precious friend, Lindy. When she gave birth to her second son, she hemorraged and needed blood transfusions, that is how she got Hepatitis C.

Have a Blessed day.

Hugs,

Jan

Believe In Miracles and SOAR

:friends:

*Afterthought* I wanted to add in this entry:

GOD'S GRACE

Dear Father, giver of your Holy Spirit,

Thank you for justifying me through faith, so that now I have

peace with you through the Lord Jesus Christ.

How grateful I am that I have access to your grace! I rejoice in

the hope of sharing in your glory.

More than that, my God, I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake.

I know that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces

character, and character produces hope.

How I bless you for this wonderful hope that I have. It is a hope

that will never bring disappointment.

I know this because I have tasted your love. You have poured it

into my heart through the Holy Spirit which you have given me, as

well as to all your people.

Please Lord, be with Lindy as she embarks on this new journey.

Thank you Lord for having Grandchildren in our lives together .... we can talk about them for hours and that will give her great joy. Thank you for the Gift of Lindy in my life.

You give us a new :artist: canvas each morning to place our day on, how are you going to fill yours out today? I am going to be there each morning for Lindy and make memories daily to add to our collection. Without friends, life would be like a garden without flowers. :forgive_me?: I am blessed Lindy has been in my garden for 43 years. I hope everyone has a beautiful flower as Lindy in their garden.