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I am very selfish



By nature I am a very selfish person. Yes, it is true. All my instincts yell:


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all of us want control in our life but none of us have any. I don't know whether God also has one. I don't know how this world runs, who runs it.



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You are so honest about your feelings. Yes, I feel selfish also. I want to have time for me. But, at this point in life it is my turn to take care of William.

It is difficult the decisions that you have to make regarding Ray's health and your Mum's care. You have a full plate.

I can only pray that God will give you the strength, patience and peace that you require.

I wish that I was closer and I could literally come and help you.

But, for now. Please keep sharing and have some comfort in knowing that I am here for you.


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Sue, my thoughts are at some point you will feel good about how your life went from a small child till now. By honoring your parents it's my belief your life will be lengthen on this earth. It's very hard to see right now but you'll have many happy days in your life.


I've had a hard time at life too but I'm still here by God! Wounded in Vietnam, divorced when I got back, married again that wife left me in Germany, married again that wife shot me, my mom died. Helped raise kids in a couple relationships, then finally married again and by now I'm dealing with my stroke recovery as best I can, but better days are ahead I know.


So, you hang on in there your good days are coming, I bet you? You have paid your dues! I just hope I live to visit you and Ray before my time is up.

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Sue, Your doing your best. You have your mum a roof over her head, people to take care of her. And most of all she knows that you appreciate all that she has done for you. You are in good hands and at

spiritually peace.

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All we can ever do is our best. I understand your feeling completely... I find when I get into that mode a good nights sleep a talk with God and then with myself helps me to get out of it... lol


Sometimes I feel very selfish for my thoughts on those same lines.... then I look at Dave and know that he didn't ask for stroke and heart disease to come into his life either....


Hang in there, hugs and love


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Hi Sue,


it takes much courage and self-sacrifice to be so loyal and committed to caring for others as you are.

i sincerely compliment you for that. it also takes much courage to put yourself out on the table and express, with such candor, some of one's innermost, honest thoughts and emotions. again, i sincerely compliment you for that.


i assure you you are not alone in having those moments of "what about me" thinking. it is good we have others here, and in our own circles, that we can open up and share these things with.


glad you are here, sue, you are a source of inspiration to others....myself included.



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Great blog. I am sure we all have some selfishness in a deep, small corner of our brain. It is what we do about it that counts. You prove everyday you have yours not only under control, but conquered. I salute you and the courage and selflessness you display everyday.

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You are not selfish at all. I think what it comes down to is the same basic issue we all deal with. We lost control of our lives the day stroke took over and claimed control of it. It takes tremendous strength and fortitude you have to withstand the rippling effect of the storm that lightening bolt creates.

You have been nothing but a pillar of strength in braving the storm. It is not at all selfish to simply want to able to breathe and come in out of the rain.

For all of the inspiration and support you take the time to offer and provide to others here, I hope you will now allow us to provide you with the loving support you have from us to offer some shelter. Please don't forget we love you and are always here for you.


Maria :mwah:

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