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It's All about the Computer, Mostly


fking

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I saw GMA this morning and the kids are getting into trouble on the computer again. This time it's dangerous for them and they are warning the parents to "beware."

 

I was thinking...older persons like myself would never get into trouble cause we wouldn't know how to even use the computers...I still don't. For that reason I'm posting the following phone calls, etc., that people make to operators everyday. No kidding, I never knew what a Blog was, that's why it was so long before I tried to do one.

 

Anyway, enjoy these:

 

 

HELLO?......ACTUAL CALL CENTER CONVERSATIONS

 

 

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't

get through; can you help?'

Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'

Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'

Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Samsung Electronics

 

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that

I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket

and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me

the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe):

'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I

have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Directory Inquiries

 

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes... that's what it says on the label...Woven in Scotland.'

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer: 'OK..'

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until

this point?'

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

This has to be one of the funniest in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is supposed to be a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the Customer Care Department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is said to have sued the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.' Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, Computer Assistance, may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the

words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing?'

Caller: 'It's blank. It won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the

screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept

anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know...'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

where the power cord goes into it... can you see that?'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.'

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not

just one?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach it.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it

licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and

packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it

up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to

the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that

I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I

get my file back again?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,

can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please.'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the

spelling is correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar, but the 'B'

fell off.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I

am traveling in Australia?'

Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'

 

 

 

I will not tell you which one was me! You probably guessed anyway? :unsure: Any of them sound familiar that you may have done too?

3 Comments


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Fred, :Funny-Post: Good ones. You do pretty good using the computer Fred. I can always count on getting

a good laugh reading your blog or post.

 

Jeannie

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Sarah, see, I had already posted one about blonde's on the message board, so I didn't want to "Tee" anyone off, they are just jokes in my opinion, but these jokes been out probably for years. I try to be as careful as I can and I have to change some words or it gets bleeped out on here.

 

BTW, read the one I posted today on the message board name Fred!

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