The most helpful thing I heard at a meeting for family with a member with dementia was to be in their world, not yours. There comes a time when they can know long learn anything. My Mom would often ask where my Dad was. Rather than to say he was dead, which she could not remember, and then experience anxiety over the news again and again. Just say "He's gone to the store." Within a short time she would not remember that she had even asked. That idea saved her (not to mention my sister and me) a lot of anxiety.

Sue:

I get amazed by your will to continue to look after Ray even when you know how tough it is with those bad days. you are in my thoughts and prayers. you should get gold medal in being life survivor

Asha

You know Sue, what you say makes for concern for any family on the cost of care period and what it cost these day just to live. It cost to be born, to live healthy or not, and certainly to depart this earth. We pay, pay and more pay to stay alive. So, there is no end in sight to our struggle as survivors and care givers alike.

You are one of the active member, care giver, that I pay attention to in how life serves you in the many decisions you have to make day by day. Just one more reason I wanted to meet and visit you and Ray one of these days while I'm able and let my wife see first hand what life is like caring for a loved one.

It's a trip she's looking forward to making with me one day. Take care, Monday starts a new era with Ray!

Hi Sue, I am glad you have had this week to re=energize. Also it will take Ray a few days to get back into routine. You are so "sensible" about everything, and the insight in seeing that you will be able to be okay alone, when that time does come. You find the joy in the small wonders of nature. I know many of your days are anything but serene.

Sending hugs and lemon meringue pies your way.

Bonnie

Just as well no-one was here this morning to see me shaking the living daylights out of the laser printer trying to get it to cough up one of my answer sheets! I'm guessing the wet weather has dampened the paper. I had to get the other printer going and that one ran out of ink...argh!

Still most of my assignment work is done, just have to get Trev here to realign the laser again. Always something to have a tizzy fit about eh?

Sue.

"a face with the tide gone out" - I just loved this decription. I also got a chuckle out of a mental picture of sweet Sue doing bodily harm to your printer! A chuckle here, an appreciation of beauty there - its what keeps us going from day to day. Dementia is so cruel because it kills hope. So it is so vital to look for hope and life where we can find it.

Ruth

Hi Sue:

clearly it does not make things easier, but surely you must know that in doing what you

so lovingly, loyally, and faithfully do in caring for Ray, and in your sharing of your life and experiences

here, that you are helping so many others. I know it is true for me, and i can tell it is true for many others

here, your presence here is greatly (with emphasis) appreciated.

i truly admire your strength as i do all caregivers.

In Friendship,

Brian