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Back to work


Ethyl17

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First off, thank you all for your concern and support on my returning to work. For all the hesitation I've had about doing this, it was nice to have the good wishes and positive encouragement of everyone here. So I love being back. I am only doing paperwork but also have the social connection that is so dreadfully missing when one is a sole caregiver.

Yes, I am now exhausted again, but without the stress of the previous exhaustion. This is just the physical tiredness and trying to have everything done here to help the carers and myself. Funny, now I force myself to nap or rest every afternoon and have paid more attention to my personal grooming. Bruce seems to be adjusting well, however tonight he did not wait up for me, so I guess the honeymoon is over-lol.

 

Downside: His Baclofen doctor called and some of the reports were too old for the hospital, so it looked like we may have to put that off. But, as I have said from day one, his PCP stepped up and will get everything up-to-date as he fit us in tomorrow for an appointment.

 

Of course, Bruce fell this morning. Trying to move too fast and not enough balance without the right foot on the ground. Insisted he could get himself up with help and raked his weak side, but did it. Also we had Flu Shots yesterday, so that may be affecting him. Carer tonight reported one accident and then Bruce went to bed and insisted on turning everything off at 7 pm. He's been asleep since I have been home and I had a lot to do and was not quiet and still he has turned only once. I only hope the abrasions will not keep him out of the pool tomorrow if he chooses to go.

 

He did go to work after all this and his boss reported his mental status was better than it has been in months and he did great on those projects that he worked on. Bruce did not nap, but did rest for a half hour.

 

So again, we shall see. I think this may be a positive thing. Also I have something back for myself, making me more whole. Kira is having a problem as she is used to full attention when Bruce hits the bed and now I am not home. She's a tad needy when I walk in the door-lol.

 

Although after paying all these caregivers, I will net after taxes almost nothing; I realize that what my sister and all of you have advised here, that in the long run it will be best for both Bruce and I. I am finding I can leave him alone for short periods of time and he accepts that he needs to direct the carers, so Bruce takes more of his own life back.

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Debbie, It sure sounds like Bruce is doing much better with taking on more responsibility. What his boss told you may be a result of his being more independent at home, a sort of "I can do anything" attitude. Being able to socialize again must be a shot in the arm for you. What great news all the way around. Congratulations on a very insightfull decision. I hope you can figure a way to make it more profitable. Good Job, Mike

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Debbie, congratulations on the way you worked it all out. As you know the honeymoon period will not last but while it does - enjoy.

 

I agree that doing work or volunteering outside the walls of your home is good for you. I volunteer at church and today was Ray's and my first day as ticketsellers on the Lions Christmas stocking. I did everything but the banking which another Lion did for me and also gave us a 'comfort break'.

 

Hope just being more independent and having more freedom restores to you and Bruce something you had lost.

 

Sue.

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Debbie:

 

I am glad you started working again. It does give you outlet to interact with others. i used to feel caregivers have atleast that outlet but we survivors have none in the begining. though slowly it has changed for me once I started volunteering at school & redcross. I am glad Bruce has started contributing at work, hopefully soon it may become paid job. I know

it's hard but keep all the balls up in the air it will bring you lot of content even if it does not bring money after tax & outside caregiver costs.its least you can do for your sanity & not becoming bitter.

 

Asha

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Congratulations on your return to work and the world outside of our caregiving. Even though I don't know you that well, I think you seem to have a lot of knowledge and care for others to share in regard to your nursing career. Larry will be discharged from PT soon and I will truly miss seeing his therapists and staff at the rehab center. We have yet to consider what we need to do to keep Larry going with his recovery. Sadly, he is not as motivated at home as he is with the therapists. I wish he was even more interested in going out as your Bruce is but he would rather stay home. I took him to the mall today just to get him out as it was in the low 70's. He walked so slow and seemed to be ready to go home after 30 min. I hope in time he will change. Best to you.

Julie

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Debbie

Glad to hear that you are getting back to work and finding that you enjoy it. It is hard at first but you will find little things as you go along to help you out take care Sally

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