Missing the old me 6 years later
This summer will be six years since my stroke. I am realizing more and more that stroke lasts a lifetime. I guess I was hoping that one day I would wake up and this would all be over. Brain injury is something that never goes away. Last week I spoke in front of 600 people at a fundraiser for the hospital that saved my life. I enjoy talking about my stroke but it makes me remember my pre-stroke life which often saddens me
My stroke left me completely helpless. I had to relearn to walk, talk, swallow, brush my hair, tie my shoe, write...etc
I had a great team of professionals that helped me recover 90%
Today I have two boys. I work full time and I go to school
On the outside I look like im completely fine
However, my brain is broken....im broken
I once read that victims of brain injury who near fully recover sometimes have the hardest time finding acceptance. That is definitely me.
Its like when you are a child and your dog dies and your parents go out the next day and buy you a dog that looks exactly the same.
I may look and sound the same, but I am very different...
I will always miss the old me. Nobody will miss her more than I do...
But this is my new life. Its okay to visit the past, we just cant stay there.
Today I move forward. I must let her go....I will always love you Amanda but I have to move on