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Odd week



A very difficult week. Seems we get on a roll where we are working on things and making progress, then everything changes. I know: we plan, God laughs.


Week started well. We went for our swim and saw our friend Barry. Tuesday, Jen begged out of the pool, but did take Bruce to get a new book he wanted. Tuesday at dinner time, Bruce told me the TV program he was watching was more important than answering me about dinner. I had a meltdown. I had spent an hour in the kitchen making a really nice dinner. Well we ate and then it was off to bed. Personally this was one night I was glad he went in so early.


Wednesday morning he was all smiles and trying to be attentive, bless him. We had to do shower and personal grooming and then went off to pharmacy and errands. Bruce said he did not want to go to work.


Thursday I insisted on work. Again, if he swims with me on Thursday, he will not go with Jen on Friday and I pay a caregiver to basically do some light housework, take him for a ride and clean out her car and purse. I was nauseous all evening at work and chalked it up to stress. But I came home from work, was told by Cathy, our Thursday caregiver that he, as usual, refused to toilet before bed. Bruce knows I will change him and added a special bonus, so that included a bed bath and change. No meltdown tho, I was proud of myself.


Friday morning it was all I could do to get ready for work and Jen announces her doctor said she can not go swimming, some sort of infection. I made it through work and the pipes let loose. Have spent the entire weekend going from bed to bathroom and couch. Bruce was a dear through all of this. I think he was really scared, and at one point told me to call Mary Beth.


So, all the work on dressing himself, wearing jeans, wearing his AFO daily, getting outside and riding his scooter has come to a halt. It was all I could do to transfer him, prepare some sort of meals and dress him. We started again this morning from square one and I said to him, you don't want to do this. He said, yes I do. So I said Bruce, just say Debbie go away and let me do this. He helped graciously when asked, allowed me all the rest I needed. But never once asked for help to the Bathroom. This is what I don't get. And quite frankly this weekend, I just let it go and did the change when I had to.


What I did see was how little he really needs me for: spot for transfers, help with toileting, shower and dressing, getting mail and newspaper and some help in the kitchen. I set his breakfast stuff up Saturday night and he handled all of that well-minor spills, and even put the milk and juice back in the big fridge. If he wanted something, he got it. If it wasn't important, he let it go. And since his pills are all pre-poured on Sunday for the week, never missed a med.


Jen is off for the next two weeks and Leo will be coming just 4pm to 8pm, so I am on deck for the day stuff: pool and Bruce's work, but really I am anyway. At least Leo will plan and cook dinner, has the house immaculate, will do laundry and if I can remember to keep Bruce in jeans will have him washed, toiletted and will even walk with him to bed. Leo also wants to work with him with the scooter, if weather permits.


So the eternal optimist, who is feeling better finally, will hopefully start off a new week with some new ideas and enlightenment.


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Sitting here feeling envious. If I were in bed sick Ray would get me out to do things for him still. I'm glad you got through all of this and feel more confident.



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Debbie, I hope you're feeling better. It sounds like Bruce is doing well at some independent tasks, at least when he has to. Hopefully he'll keep up the good work. This is so hard, especially when you don't feel well. I've always been concerned about what would happen if I fell down, passed out, etc. I figure Dan would sit in his chair yelling "Yo" and tell me to get up and get him some soda!! lol Who takes care of the Caregiver?

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Debbie I am so glad you are feeling better. It's so hard to take care of yourself and someone else as we do. It seems as if Bruce IS aware of your feelings but he just doesn't express it every time. He seems to do a lot around the house. I know Larry sometimes will wait for me to do something and then when I say "you can do it", he does! He gets frustrated with dressing and says "Julie, I can't" but I leave, come back, and he does it! Have a good week and I will talk to you Tuesday. :cocktail:



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I am glad that you are well again. I know that it is hard to keep pushing yourself when you feel bad. Bruce does well.


Every week or day is a new day. Who knows what to expect? I do all of William's pool stuff. i have not found any caregiver that wants to get in the water.


But, i love the water so i do not mind.


See you tues.



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