We’ve not long got back from our Lions dinner, it is nice to go out and socialise, Ray was pretty good today but tired from yesterday so a little confused. I had a major embarrassment when someone came to the door just as I was calling out to him. It must have sounded like a domestic disagreement as I was yelling: “For heaven sake just listen to me!” It was just his usual game of ignoring me.

I am feeling the need for some alone time again. Once more I am filling my “free time” with shopping and other things to do with Ray. Apart from going to the movies with Tori when she was over here I have done nothing further for myself. My next door neighbor owes me a massage for Christmas, he pays for me to go to his masseuse, and I somehow haven’t had even the couple of hours needed to do that.

We've had a good few days despite the rain. We can go along without too much fuss a lot of the time. Of course we have good and bad days but then so do all of those people in the "non-stroke" world that we know. Ray and I are two human beings who happen to be married to each other. We do love each other but we don't necessarily agree all the time.

I don't think I have got more tolerant over the years, I think dealing with the strokes and the dementia have force me to change my way of thinking. I simply can't afford to be a "me first" kind of person when it is so obvious that Ray's immediate needs have to come first. Having his needs met does not however include his wants. Like Debbie said in her blog I sometimes say: “After I have finished this…”

I was worried about the dinner tonight but Ray managed okay. He has once again started having coughing fits which starts off with a tickle in his throat and finishes us with him red-faced and gasping for breath. I don’t know what is causing it as the only change has been the higher dose of cholesterol fighting medication. I will ask our pharmacist if coughing and dry retching could be a side affect of that. I hope not as he needs to take it as he has a much raised cholesterol figure on his last bloodwork report.

We had Lucas after school today as Edie has had bad stomach cramps and went off to have an ultrasound this afternoon. It eliminated appendicitis and it is probably not gall bladder problems, so tomorrow she has to have a pelvic scan. I hope it is nothing serious as they do hope to have children once they get married. She was at the local hospital yesterday evening but the scanning machines were all in use and in the end the pains calmed a bit and they sent her home.

I found myself nodding during the secretary’s report tonight. Lucas and I played on the Wii for two hours this afternoon while Ray had a nap. I must say playing, golf, bowling, tennis etc against a very competitive 8 year old tires me out. I play against him most Sunday afternoons now to give Trev and Edie some time to talk without little ears listening in. It is difficult to hear yourself think sometimes as he is a chatterbox but I love the lively company.

At the dinner tonight we were part of a lively table including our two youngest members aged 50 and 55. They were both in a mad mood and produced some hilarity. It is so good to have a laugh in company with friends and feel that happy buzz that laughter brings. My neighbour on the other side at dinner was a retired minister and he has a collection of funny anecdotes he has accumulated through his ministry and he filled in the gaps with some of his stories. They were even funnier because they were true.

When we got home there was a message on the phone from Naomi, our granddaughter whose birthday it was today. We sent her a parcel and she kept it to open tonight, she enjoys a whole heap of little things and I usually buy some clothes too. She is a sweet child and we are looking forward to spending some time with her and Christopher at the end of the month. She was just saying thank you for my present to her Granma and Pa.

When I write a blog like this I am reminded of the poem from “Alice in Wonderland” that starts: “The time has come the walrus said, to talk of many things….”