Sounds like a new dr is definitely in order. No one should have to put up with that kind of treatment by their physician (or anyone for that matter). I sincerely hope your neuro will be more compassionate and helpful. There are drs who care. We have had some wonderful ones. I sure hope you can locate some where you live. You have every right to expect that. ~~Donna

I can still feel steam coming out of my ears when I re read your blog to make sure I got it right.  Did  this idiot fail Bedside Manner 101?  Did he even take Compassionate Communication?  Where does he get off taunting you?  I would have done the ice queen thing , drawn myself up to my full height (5'2") and said:  "How good was your pass at University anyway?  You seem to be so much less than I need in a doctor." and walked out with as much dignity I could muster.  I have asked a doctor before if he thought he knew what he was talking about.  He told me I sounded angry.  I said I was.  He said he was sorry and maybe he hadn't explained as well as he could have.

Pam, you did not cause your stroke, many people have done exactly as you did and didn't have a stroke.  The doctor is WRONG (and pig headed, rude, making excuses for his own incompetence etc) why he couldn't just give you referrals I do not understand.  Is he a slave to the insurance company maybe getting a bonus if he doesn't refer on?

Keep up your quest for the best treatment possible.  Think along the lines :"There must be someone who knows what is happening out there."

THANK YOU! I am here up at 2 am seeking comfort here and I found it as usual.  I have tears as I write this thank you because I so needed to hear what you said. I feel a thousand hugs coming from the computer screen here.

Thank you Donna for reminding me that one fool (or in my case two fool dr now) isn't the entire bunch and that there is hope to find a doctor who is what I hope for and need and yes deserve.  I have stuck with this nutball and now that I think about it I just put up with him and there are many docs around me so I have to go out there and find a decent one. Most of all thank you for reminding me that I deserve better treatment.

Sue just as I always do at the end of any appointment I offered a handshake to him. He is actually the one who is the ice queen hand shaker. For some reason at the end of every appointment he comments that I am so young and that I am younger than he is.  i haven't quite figured out what that is all about. He is not just older, he looks 30 months pregnant and could stand to take his own advice about diet and exercise. I didn't tell him so.  I thanked him for his help, what little he gave. I just did what I normally do. I didn't show any upset at all actually and I just wanted to leave with my rx. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me react to his nonsense. My parents raised me to act like a lady and that means I don't get to have a Madea moment and I just know how to be polite no matter what. I am also trained to work with crazy so I just don't react to things that set me off inside.  I just kept to the list I had and wanted to get what I needed so it wouldn't have been beneficial to me to state my mind to him at that point.  A part of me wishes I had let go and left kicking and screaming at the doc and my fool relative. I agree that the insurance co is happy with him but now they are going to find me another doc so specialists are not out of the game yet and if I get too uncomfortable with this swelling in the meantime I may go directly to the hospital to get that second opinion about it being related to my heart so I am not sure they are saving money on me yet.

Yes I did get up just now because it is pain pill time and it dawned on me that he didn't ask about my recovery at all. He doesn't know I walk with a cane. He says I am going to fully recover but he doesn't ask about it. He is more interested in shaking his finger at me shame on you style than in promoting any hope and happiness. He is not a nice person which goes deeper than his failure as a doc. I came to the conclusion tonight that his behavior is abusive. It may look like he is "helping" but abusive behavior often is hidden in the subtle disguise as beneficence somehow.

strange thing is that this doc says the same thing every appointment like if I didn't react the first time lets do it again. I wonder if he really thinks stroke is all my fault and he is doing me a favor keeping me from having another.     (I can't help but always look on the flip side of things)  But that isn't the approach that works for me.  Even if it was all my fault is this how you treat them?

Thanks Sue for having my back on this one.   I doubt my own feelings now so it helps to have the second opinion. That is why I shared it on here to see if I am being unreasonable or not. I could be. My emotions are really off the grid these days. So thanks so much.  And I will get better treatment.

Hi Pam,

Ditch the guy and his cantankerous crew ASAP. You know I had my share of exposure to doctors with questionable skills, but none so blatantly dumb and insulting. I'll bet that he wouldn't dare to behave in the same way with male patients as he does with females. He sounds a bit on the psycho side.

If you search the web for a replacement, try www.healthgrades.com. It will give you a list of doctors in your area as well as their educational and training background and patients' ratings of their abilities and experiences of their visits. Even with that information, it is not totally reliable, but helpful. Good luck and a pleasant holiday season and a New Year of increasing recovery.

AJ

Sassy, I don't always read blogs, because I either don't have time, or my eyrs are bothering me. But, I read this one, and am so glad I did, because I may have a solution to your prolem thatDOESN'T involve Mr. expletive deleted dr. Many drug stores and places like Walmart sell Compression socks, which DO NOT require a prescription. Choose your ugly as they come in white or flesh-colored, and, are ugly, but work, especially if you take blood pressure pills. My new GP prescribed a blood pressure med that has a diuretic in it. Socks + med = no swelling, or greatly reduced swelling.

Your GP can prescribe med. If you don't have a GP, why not? Once you're sent home from hospital or rehab, there's not much, if anything, a neuro can do, unless you have a specific neuro problem, like I see one for my tone, but my GP manages all my other meds. Happy hunting! Becky

hi betsy, and can I suggest getting a (female) nurse practitioner as your pcp.  they don't have the "I am the god" syndrome that dr.s can have.  I have had one for the past 10 years and she has never questioned a referral that I have suggested.   I have also felt that for a woman to enter the medical area they have to be just a little sharper than their male counterpart. but again the main thing I like is their reasonable and perhaps humble attitude about their shortcommings (like a normal human being(lol).)

I have also never heard of a dr.s office overbooking. crazy. like its come back later and we give you $200 on your next visit!

good luck on replacing this ***.

kind regards

david

Hi Betsy, a hug is  on its way. Do not put up with this fool, get a new one. I had my share of fools, but there is good doctors out there. After my stroke, had a  doctor, who though he was God.  My daughter pulled him down to earth.  Then I had to go visit a brain doctor, he was so full of him self, he started to tell me that it was my fault that I had  the stroke, my husband put a stop to that, he ran out the room, claiming he was scared of my husband!   Some have never taken 101 on how to talk to people.

 keep on looking for a doctor that care, and take a family member that is going to back you.

Merry Christmas

Yvonne

Thanks Becky for taking the time to read and respond. yes I have this GP as my PCP. I am on lasix 40 mg and now I am taking farixiga (dapaglifozin) which he says will help the swelling but may cause me hypoglycemia.

I will try the ugly socks which if they work will be beautiful. thanks for the tip

David I hear you about the god complex which would be fine with me if they could deliver on it.

Yvonne thanks again for going down the road first. It is comforting to know I am not the only one.

AJ I agree this doc is a bully and I will look up the "rate your doc" site just like I do on "rate your professor" sites.

I gotta protect myself. I realize that no one is going to advocate for me really guess they figure I will take care of my own business.