I went to my new doc in the fancy teaching medical hospital and he is supervised by another doc. He ordered all the stuff I needed and that was the first week of March. NOW well into May and I don't have any PT never have had any OT and I don't have the insulin pen for the short acting nor do I have any vials or syringes for it and my insurance case worker says this is because they don't have the paperwork needed for a pre auth. I laughed and said well this has been going on for months and through many doctors and we both laughed at the absurdity of this situation that we find ourselves in. She blamed it on the little black cloud that follows me. I don't know who to blame anymore. I have been to the pcp twice now and asked them to get stuff together. They don't have my records at all even tough I signed releases and no one seems to be concerned about them at all. The doc said to follow up with the nurse. He is a laid back nurse type that informed me that the problem is the doc didn't sign stuff right and I smiled and said I don't care a hoot about who dunit I want it done. My tact has gone the way of my mind. As if I care anymore about reasons. I am on doc and doc office number three. I don't recall having this much difficulty before when I was going to docs for two pregnancies but that was before the 90s. Times have changed. People talk to me with their face in the computer now and I doubt they hardly recognize me by sight anymore. Good I won't have to wear make up to the doc office.

I told them I am out of insulin. I called and called and talked and talked to oh so many people and I said I am going to run out SOON so please get this paperwork crap wound up and finally I called the case manager and said I guess I need to go to the hospital then to the ER and run yall up a nice big bill because i need inuslin shot? Really? She tried to get the pharmacy to override for the insulin pen but she couldn't do it. She promised to call today and tell me if she got the doc to send something or another thing over to someone somewhere to get my insulin. And we had gone over the fact that I called and did all I could do and signed whatever and all of that. In fact this little insulin pen issue has been on the burner over three docs now most of the past year. I actually got the long acting lantus pen. All I need now is the short acting one folks. This is a major cosmic joke right.

But then I found one little pen sample in my frig which saved the day and so I have a small supply so I didn't have to go to hospital. Thank God for it hiding in the bin with some summer sausage. Must have been when I had so many samples. Apparently my new doc office has no samples to give because they were worthless in helping me when I finally screamed to the world I have no insulin.

This is not like no pain meds which they wanted to do to me. This is about life and death and eating. Withholding eating is an unforgivable sin folks. Not that I could miss a pain pill dose either but it would be hard to choose. Pain or Food. Anyway this is just another paperwork mess in my world.

My phone was silent today. NO one called. NOt the pharmacy or the doc office or the insurance case manager who promised me insulin today. I didn't call anyone to tell them the scare is a false alarm because I had one more sample pen to save my life and my mealtime. I feel a slight twinge of guilt but not too much to make me call and say ok folks you got another extra week so don't worry about me. Apparently no one is worrying about me anyway. Why does it hurt that my doc office doesn't really care or know who I am? The insurance case manager only worries I really will need an ER visit so she will be glad I didn't end up there but I bet she won't ask why. I really went through one day of crisis hell and no one came to my rescue. So I tore my frig apart. I found the insulin. I also found a sparkling arrowhead watermelon lime drink I didn't know they even made those. I am finishing it off right now. Someone will be sorry they didn't buy two of them.

I am constantly disappointed by the medical society. I told the insurance case manager that I want a rep to come with me to the next appointment to do the paperwork for the poor nurse or whomever has to do paperwork and can't get it done in two and a half months and perhaps my records can be found in the great abyss of computer records so I actually exist to my doctor. My doc is a very compassionate and handsome young man with obvious ideals about practicing medicine still intact. He is an improvement over the ogre I had before and the woman-prisonguard-turned-medical-doctor.com that I had before that. Before that I had a nice little clinic I went to a few times per year and I didn't cause a fuss. I got a few meds without a fuss at all. What happened and when did I enter this cosmic milkywaymedicalhell?

I am having a fun guilty pleasure that I have this one little long last insulin sample pen. How dare they do this to me with insulin. They have had me on a ride with the therapy and the neurologist with the drug addiction hang up thing but to actually put me here with out any insuling not the vials and not the pens and no prescription for any at all and a week goes by and then I say ok all gone and they say we need paperwork still so just wait.

My family said go sit in the ER and run up a big bill and we laughed over it because we can and it isn't a real emergency right now like I feared it would be. I have finals this week did I mention that the next two weeks I am working on finals stuff. My one year anniversary comes up next week too. I am happy to skip the ER for now believe me. Did I mention that this doc business is the most stressful thing in my life?? when they say reduce stress all I can think of is can I never have to go to any doctor related thing again in my life please?

My doc gave me norco 5mg but I usually end up taking one and then an hour later taking another one. One has never helped enough. I was on the 10 mg for a while because the doc said one pill was less of the tylenol which is hard on liver. But now the worry is over the narcotic dose so they have me on the 5mg but I need two pills all the time anyway. But the good news is doc was true to his word and won't let me be home screaming in pain and he gave me another bottle when I ran out of the 5mg because I always take two not one. Got it?

At the end of this month I go see pain clinic and wonder what they will want to do. I have had some experience with car accident whiplash pain and they wanted me to take psychotropic meds to help with the pain because of some nerve thing they do. All I know is that some can just stooopify me enough to not complain but don't do a hoot for pain. I can't do that this time.

I just cant believe they make a hooplah about my pain meds and then drop the ball on my insulin.