Fergus

hi, v907 just realized i had chatted with you last night. read your blog just now. gee almost feel nostalgia for the good old cath lab...got my 5th stent on 7/5 and it felt like the same old same old. maybe i'm a veteran now. but technology is fabulous. i just met a cousin of mine who lives in canada. just met to me means just 2 years ago, since then she has worked at becoming that phenomenon, virtual bionic woman...replacement knees, shoulder, hip, cataracts...i hope i don't go on and on. but she says the worst was depression. must run in the family since that is what gets me most since my stroke. this site posits a positive outlook which galls my basic cynicsm,,,,i'd rather be angry altho i have to admit i'd rather read a good book (one blessing i really count on and nowadays my eyesight is going a bit wonky) but the cath lab can work wonders....i'd love to see pictures of the ongoing process. but i had real trouble with the damn recovery period. i wanted to get up and move around but i was a a good boy and stayed inert. but unless one is a squeaky wheel, one can be forgotten and so it was for me. 2 hours after the four hours i was a good patient, i'd had enough and became indignant which is a nice way of putting it. i'd put that well behind me but now that i recall being forgotten, i'm not happy with my response on one hand i feel i shouod have hit the roof, on the other i wish i had maintained some stoicism but i did not. still haven't gotten the hospital bill yet. maybe i can use my negative experience as something of a bargaining chip. but maybe the hospital will "forget" the inevitable bill. still, i'm lucky to be able to type this account because i had forgotten all about it...maybe that's a left field benefit of stroke after-effects jf

i read your story and realized how blessed i am to have a wife who has loved me, stuck by me, and is my best friend. i'm not an easy person, all over the place it seems, but mostly angry. Frankly your story scares me because it makes me angry. i really have to watch myself because i'd have nothing what ever to do with a partner like "brad" but i don't really know about how bad things can really be be-cause my wife and i have a good relationship, altho she wants me to get a haircut and i don't want one...i need one but i can be really stubborn. i'll go grudgingly but i'd rather stay home and go on line. right now a haircut is a big deal to me; i don't think i'm being reasonable about this, i know that it is no big deal, but i have a stroke brain...things really get to me..i have a tendency to project the worst out of thin air. sometimes i feel as if a part of me has reverted to the little kid i was a long time ago. you've had to cope with a life change that is not only monumental but cruel. i hope things just keep getting better for you and that your grace and courage in the face of what i would term as callous betrayal will help pull you through and make you stronger and some-how, give you happiness. jf

lydia, thank you for making me appreciate my wife and the care she gives me. My worst feeling is not wanting to go out and being in people's way. I try to be careful if I do chores because i always feel on the verge of dropping or knocking something over. I used to cook but was told that's a no-no. I have to pay close attention to every thing I do because if I don't, I fall or come close to it. even opening or closing blinds or turning on a light is a chore...have to choreograph what I want to do. jf