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Stroke Survivor - female
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About roxy

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  1. Happy Anniversary roxy!

  2. Happy Anniversary roxy!

  3. To answer a few questions, yes, she was in rehab. My dad knows how important this is and is soooo upset that she is refusing to go. He knows she needs to get up off the couch and he tries everything possible. She will not sit in her wheelchair more than 30 min, long enough to sit at table while we feed her a meal. Everything is pureed, no more feeding tube. But yes, we try. I don't know if I am strong enough to make her sit in her chair while she cries and hollers........she is somewhat back to age 3 in temper fits. The neurologist have given us no hope and all they say is that she is lucky to have what she does have. So we are getting her a new one, but she can't get in to see him until Feb 21. We plan on calling often to see if anyone cancels and get her in sooner. These headaches only started around first of December. We don't know what caused them but tylenol doesn't work. Dad won't keep her on percoset - it isn't working anyway. I know that joining some sort of support group will help me and dad tremendously. This is very lonely and all of our family members have abandoned us.
  4. I just want to see if there is anyone out there who has experienced anything like what we are going through. My mom had her cerebrial hemmoragic stroke 15 months ago. She has severe brain damage and my dad has to do everything for her. She can't even hold a pencil in her hand bc her hands shake so bad. She can't walk bc she has NO balance. But the worst part is she really cant communicate much.........bc it takes so much effort, she really doesn't try much. But I can understand what she says when she does try. She takes adavan to relieve agitation but recently has BAD headaches. And Percaset isn't working. She feels bad 100% of the time and all she does ALL DAY LONG is lay on the couch under a blanket and tries to pull it over her head. She won't even do therapy anymore. She is going backwards, not forwards. My mom was totally healthy and a very lively person before this. She is only 63. It KILLS my very soul to see her so isolated and in constant pain. I wonder if this will ever get any better? God kept her here for a reason.........surely it wasn't to just suffer. I am an only child so I don't even have anyone to share this with except my dad and he won't hire any help so all he does is take care of her,.....basically his life is gone too. At least the life they used to have. It is soooo sad, I don't know how i am supposed to deal with this. The first 6months, you are still in crisis mode. Then the next few months, you are waiting, praying and hoping things can still get better. But now, dad is depressed, mom is in constant pain and I don't know what to do. I need my mom back for just 10 min......like she was to tell me what I am supposed to do. I feel like I have been set a drift in the wide ocean alone with a tiny raft...........what now? Anyone have any advice? I don't want to think about how much my mom is suffering bc all I do is cry then. But i can't even be happy bc then i feel guilty. And this isn't even about me........its about her. I don't know how to fix this .....I want to fix things. I just feel totally lost like I need some direction......any advice? anyone in a similar situation.
  5. roxy

    you are right....being alone will make you stronger than you ever thought possible. I went through a horrible divorce 1 1/2 yrs ago and I know the loneliness and scariness of all this....but I can also tell you, even though you are going through a tunnel, there IS light on the other end. I live alone and am happier than I ever thought possible. I actually like my own company. Reach out for friends and lean on them right now....that is what friends are for. I didn't have any at the time, so I made a point to make some and it really really helped. Hang in there, it will get better. don't spend a lot of time wasted on wondering why why why....somethings just happen, we all get knocked down...the important part is to get up, dust yourself off and make an effort to find something to be happy about. Emotions come and go but Joy is a decision. The more you practice it, the more you will have :hug:
  6. roxy

    I TOTALLY understand what you are going through...my mom had the same thing 5 months ago...went from ICU to hospital to hospital to nursing home...we could not leave her alone and my dad and I took turns staying all day long....it is VERY hard and gets lonely so keep reaching out to others.....let me say...it DOES get better. mom is now back at home and has come further than they expected. She still has a really long way to go but we didn't give up and kept talking to her....your dad can hear you....just make him as comfortable as you can....that's all you can do right now.....it takes TIME ....a long time. roxy
  7. roxy

    Kerry I am in same boat as you but have only been doing it for 5 months. I long for my mom to know who I am or talk to me or be normal again for just one day. I am scared bc I don't know if this is going to get better or not. I always said no way to a nursing home but I can't keep this up forever. I have to think that God has a purpose for her to keep her here and that it will get better. Can I ask your age? I am 34, single with a 14 year old. Life is hard...you aren't alone. But it is going to get better...time heals all things Roxy