ladibluej Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Well, I put my feelings about stroke in writing back when my aphasia was anomic (and I could speak some)...and now that I can't (all things still apply): You Look Okay You look okay, the people said too bad they can't see inside my head, too bad they can't feel the pain and the hurt inside, too bad they don't know what it's like to have almost died. They can't see pain forever constant in my limbs and in my head, they don't know how sad it is to have a piece of you that's dead. They don't notice when I don't understand because I smile and nod my head, Just don't ask me to repeat it now what was it you said. They can't see the tingling and burning or the buzzing in my feet, but aren't I glad I look okay to the people that I meet. Would they like to laugh when things aren't funny or cry when they aren't sad, Or ride an emotional roller-coaster of utter frustration and getting mad. That tasks to them that are simple are to complex for my damaged brain, Oh, how I wish they could see inside why my tears fall down like rain. My son says Mom you're no longer fun, my husband says What's wrong with you, but like the others who cannot see inside I'm afraid they don't have a clue. In a society that's based on appearance it's not how you feel, it's how you look they think since they've scanned the cover they know what's inside the book. You look okay...the people said, too bad they can't see inside my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady k Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 your ooem was great you hit it right on the head, I hope you start a blog. thanks for sharing, I feel like I am discovering a new normal and filling in some of the holes, not with what I had but with a different substance, I think I have become more caring and am not so superficial :hug: :dribble: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstraugh Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 ladibluej That poem was fantastc. You were able to put into words what even for those who can verbalize cannot convey. Thank you so much for sharing :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam1960 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Wow, How eloquently you've put it! You just put into words the way so many of us feel! You should send a copy of this to Strokesmart Magazine. Or better yet, Newsweek. The people who read Strokesmart probably understand already. I truly think part of the reason stroke survivors are ignored is our inability to convey our feelings to the outside world. I'm saving a copy of this poem to my desktop, so I can read it whenever I'm feeling alone. Thanks so much for sharing, :hug: Carol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisas Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Great poem!! I know that's how my daughter Rachel feels. Those same feelings have come out little by little on different ocassions. Thank you for sharing :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwatrous Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 sorry, but there is much pain with stroke, and most of it you cannot see, so how can we expect others to understand? June Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistoffate Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Your heartfelt writing is a direct hit. Those of us unfortunate enough to know first hand can literally feel every word you convey. So what do we do about what we know to be so true. 1st order, the nagging, always present pain. I've never known the pain a stroke and it's residual brings. Sometimes sharp and only when you move. Other times dull and constant. I have often thought I would trade a year of my sweet life, for a day of feeling "normal". In my heart I know that come time to repay that sweet day with the promised year.....I would "renig" on the deal. Pain or no, I love the life I narrowly "escaped" with, and will go to my grave kickin' for another day. You have to get on top of the pain issue. It takes very sharp and compassionate minds to arrive at the right "ammo" for this battle. My particular medicinal regiment is truly a fine tuned "balancing act". Too much, or too little can mean all the difference in the world. You simply have to have it right. I am very faithful to my personal medical needs. I learned this the hard way. Among the many meds I take, one in particular, Neurontin, is still being juggled :juggle: . I know many of you are familiar with it. Too much by even a few milligrams. and to little by even a few, make all the difference. Most of you know me, and my story. I am more than a "survivor". I am a "warrior". I am so proud to be among you. I will eagerly pass on all I know, and be a "sponge" to all I don't. Get your meds right. Then a routine to gently work your body is imperative. I work out very lightly, and then move my workout to my jacuzzi. My feelings on the benefits of this is well documented. I listen to my body. It says rest, I rest. Stretch out, turn on some soothing music and open a book. Get your mind off the aggravation your body goes through. I create music, I garden, I sit in silence, with my face to the sun. How wonderful the warmth feels. Let your mind travel. Far away from pain. I'm very blessed to be in the country, away from noise. Find your "sweet spot" and go there. I'm entering my 3rd summer, post stroke. I'm still learning. But I'm also seasoned. What you say is right-on. Now do all you can to negate it. The occurrance of a stroke is a "blip" on the screen of life. How are you gonna handle the rest of the sweet life you've been given?? May I say your writing/poem is most eloquent and it should be "required" reading for all concerned. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Sincerely, Fate....again :party: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstockman Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Ho Beautiful written. You should definately publish this in the stroke connection and stroke smart magazine. Also send it to Lin her at stroke net for the newsletter. You have hit feelings so truly. and beautifully. I printed out a couple copies for others. This so amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladibluej Posted June 9, 2007 Author Share Posted June 9, 2007 Thank you all so much for understanding...(how could you not, since you have all, been there, done that:) Writing has always been my way of expressing my feelings, and I am very, very glad that it has remained with me. Hugs to all of you:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slmstrokeangel Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Your poem was wonderful. What did you mean by You can't speak now. Have you had another stroke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekh92206 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 That poem is fantastic. It really captures the feelings of a survivor. Keep writing you have a talent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest thegoodlife Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Hi: Just read your poem and it is the greatest. You are really talented-use that. You hit it right on the head I would like to say Thank You- that made my day! I have this happen all the time even was taken advantage of because of this. You have my Best Wishes!!! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow55038 Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Ladibluej: I cried when I read your poem. It is soooo applicable to so many of us. I don't know how many times people snarked at me when I went back to work, "Well, you look fine. . ." UGH. Your poem says what so many of us feel. Would you be willing to let me publish it (credited to you, of course) on the Minnesota Stroke Association's "For Survivors" web page? It would be such a great piece for our newly updated site and an inspiration to others facing the reality of stroke. Thanks and please keep pursuing the writing. . .you are definitely a talent! Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelBaker Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Your poem is excellent! Put things that I'm feeling right in perspective. It is frustrating and maddening when you don't really know when or if the roller coaster will stop. Thank you for sharing! :thumbs up: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pprovost Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Hi Ladibluj I have kept a journal since my stroke 10 years ago. Your poem brought back many of the emotions I had in the first weeks and months. I hope to read more poems in the future. Your writing is very clear and human best, Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZ Leah Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Dear Ladi: Your poem is beautiful and puts into words my feelings. Only survivors like us can share and feel your words. Thank you so much. Every day I try to do some good for myself and for someone else. Today I cried but then it stopped. So I am grateful to read your beautiful words. Leah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chofvander Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 Hello Ladi, You've put my emotions down in writing. It's exactly how I feel. Congratulations you've written an epic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts