Ron

daily struggles, I a writing this for my own benefit to see if it helps, I hope it does, maybe if lucky, it might help someone else also. I had my stroke almost 5 years ago, i recoverd physically in just a few days, but menatlly, wow , still a daily stuggle, i cant remember thiings that just happened???? I am thirsty i get up and go to the refrigertaor to get a drink i get there open the door and stare at my numerous choices, soda, oj, water, etc. and i cant remember why i am there??? crazy, I go sit back down and remember i a thirsty only to start all over again ugh!  i live in a isolatted small town i drive over 6 miles to the local store to get bread and a few other things i get there walk in and forget why i am there? does this sound familiar to anyone else or am i the only one? i get dizzy, light headed several times a day, i am always fatiqued, confused, i cant put things together anymore. I hate this life, I lost my company that i owned i could no longer run it, I lost my wife, my beautiful home with inground pool in an upscale neighborhood, I am now sturggling on disability. I keep trying to try different jobs mostly on the computer but i cant keep things in my head long enough to accomplish anything and have to resign. I have little motivation left, I really am hoping i am not depressing anyone here if this negative rambling bothers you please stop reading, I had a great life pre stroke, a wonderful wife, 2 great sons, alot of friends, successful business, I vounteered as trustee and ambulance captain for local fire company, and as my sons scout leader, and baseball, soccer coach. etc. now i live in a town of 196 people 35 miles from the closest resemblence of a city, no friends nearby, sons live 2 hours away, lonely, and barely able to survive financially. But i keep trying i attempt many home improvement projects, i take tai chi 2x  WEEK  to help with mental focus and balance, i attend church regularly, I try to find work that i can do. I have gone to many doctors thereapists etc. seems no one has a answer. but i keep trying that is all i can do