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Time To Laugh, Wipe Away The Tears And Sadness!


fking

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Thought I would attempt to cheer some of you up. I read where tears are running rampart, hearts are heavy and the days and weeks are making you feel so down. Lay your burdens down give them to God he won't put more on you than you can carry. Brighter days and weeks are just ahead! :big_grin: Nothing last forever especially hard times! :Clap-Hands: :roflmao:

 

This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff's deputies there so he asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife.

The guy says "sure " and shows him a picture of his wife.

The deputy says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

The guy says, " I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook. "

 

Now that's when things are bad, real bad, but we are survivors and care givers, Right?

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The Church Plaque...

 

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year- old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, son."

 

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.

 

"Sir, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.

 

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor.

 

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

 

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one, sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

 

See, we don't have to worry about which service to attend cause we know our soldiers are the ones dying in service to our country! :unsure:

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Bad Combinations...

 

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 60, WAY over 60, or hovering near 60) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

 

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. In line skates and a walker

 

And last, but not least... my personal favorite:

13. Thongs and Depends. :big_grin:

 

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.

 

"Why can't we just laugh sometimes before life passes us by because it could really be worse but again we are survivors and care givers! :happydance:

 

Now, don't you feel better already???? :rolleyes:

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I couldn't sleep last night thinking about that Thongs and Depends, a combination old farts should avoid above:

 

Stealing Dresses...Old Farts again!

 

Judge: "You admit breaking into the dress shop four times?"

 

Defendant: "Yes, your honor."

 

Judge: "What did you steal?"

 

Defendant: "A dress, Your Honor."

 

Judge: "One dress? And yet you admit breaking in four times!"

 

Defendant: "Well, your Honor, you see the first three times my wife didn't like the color."

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Thanks, you are only Human and we need a laugh to make our day! So many time I read people are crying on here!

 

I thought half the 10,000 membership needed to laugh instead of being sad, disgruntled or being worried day after day without a smile ever. But I was told to stop posting jokes in the Humor Forum. So I hope to put a few in this Blog section once in a while.

 

I guess whoever complained don't have to read my blogs? I suppose they didn't have to read the Humor section either if they didn't like clean family jokes. I wonder what they do with the Comic section of the daily newspaper they have delivered?? It's doubled on Sundays comics! :big_grin: :unsure:

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