Hah! What a day and I need to share it. Mostly because of my own responses to all of it and the fact that it seems I am finally getting a handle on my emotions and lack of patience (sure, Deb; wishful thinking-but just maybe).

Bruce's Godson blew up yet another car. Now at 20 years old, this is just bad luck. He hit a deer, drove his Mom's car and the engine dropped out-something this particular model is known for; some axle thing went in his SUV-again, he did not hit anything and then just this past weekend, swerved to miss a car coming at him in his lane, head on; went up on a curb and bent whatever is holding the wheel on. This child has had NO accidents, other than the deer. Maybe some heavy driving on his part, but I think he is just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He works full time, goes to school full time at night. You all know the attention he gives us here, so yes, please take the Honda and I need it back to go to work Friday morning. But Jen could also run me down the road when she got here and I can get a ride home, so no pressure.

My work is downsizing. Not a good idea in the Nursing Department, but nothing we can do. This came down from the owner and he wants to see fiscal improvement by next quarter end, or there will be more cuts. My department has six nurses-four full time, two part time. Two are on vacation-long ones; two have been pulled to do patient care. I have been assigned to two other departments. I am to check the work load and adjust my time as needed. Again, I am given the easy task. Regardless of what is going on, I am still allowed my flex time with no questions asked.

At 3am this morning, Miss Kira decided to throw up in the bed. Not on a pad, mind you-the sheets. Too much beef and that is my fault. Bruce is awakened by her gagging and pees the bed. Great. I change the sheets, putting a simple draw sheet and pad on, change and clean up Bruce. At 5am Bruce wakes me up and says I need to go to the toilet right now. Simple transfer and off we go. Minor problem in the bed. While he is busy, I start the washing machine. Clean him up, transfer him back to WC and he stays up. Does his coffee-TV-newspaper thing.

I try to find a clean spot in the bed for a half hour or so, until the washing machine is done. However, know in the back of my mind that there is no way I can go to work without a shower-too many fluids. So at 6:30am I get up. Jen can not make a bed to save her life and my one thought is this needs to be done before I leave, so it is ready for his nap.

In the meantime, I notice that the Honda is not back. And that is OK.

I set Bruce up in the kitchen to do his own breakfast and off I go to the shower. The phone rings and guess what-Jen is sick. She can't go swimming, but thinks she can come. No thanks, I do not need a GI bug here. But I really think it was such a beautiful day. We had 50 degrees and dry overnight. Great sleeping weather, for as long as that lasted-lol. And she is 24 and she works 7 days a week and you all know this happens every couple of weeks with her.

Now I could call Leo for 4pm. But Bruce and I had planned a cookout. I know Bruce would have understood, but on a chance, I called our Cathy, who said she could be here in 1/2 hour for a few hours. That solves the bed making problem-sheets are in the dryer at this point. Cathy can make a bed. I kept Bruce to as close to his schedule as possible, but since Cathy can not drive a five speed he won't be able to go to the pool, but that remedies the problem of the Honda not being here.

I so concentrate on keeping Bruce's routine regular. My thinking has always been, I lose him if I stray. Well today, someone sure stepped up. We had our cookout. Well I cooked out. He still refuses to go out on the deck unless forced usually by a visitor, not for me. He helped with dinner and actually delayed bed time a half hour.

I was annoyed earlier in the week when I picked him up from work and he was wet. I did not have the plastic on his seat, but made him get out and back in after I placed the plastic. He told me he was ashamed and did not want to "stick" me with the work. Well, one can not stay mad at that. I had made my point and moved on (see Sue, I am trainable) and one night when he started dinner before I sat down. Again, I made mention of how hurtful that is and let it go.

I know he is still anxious every day as to when I am going to blow. And for that I am so sorry. He has enough on his plate. But retraining myself after 50+ years of being who I am is very hard.

He found a Car Show for tomorrow. He keeps taking out the ad and looking at it. I Googled directions and wrote them directly on the ad, so he knew I was on board. I test drove the scooter two nights ago. All is well, but I will still bring the WC.

New Haven has a Festival of Lights every Christmas. It is drive through and a benefit and we have gone the last two years. This is something we did off and on over the years, but after the Stroke I made sure we went. He loves it. Christmas is a tough time of year for us. We both lost our Mothers at that time. But Bruce so loves Christmas and with the downplaying of it here now at home, this was a great outing. Bruce mentioned that the Car Show was where the Festival of Lights is, after he read my directions. Gotta luv him. Good week people. Debbie