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Learning to accept by helping Garion to do it


lydiacevedo

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I'll start by saying thank you to everyone who has kept Garion, my son, in their prayers, after his grease fire accident.

 

 

He is doing much better and the scarring, post skin graft, looks as though it will be minimal. He is very selfconscious about his hand and arm. He is also suffering from the same sort of emotional liability that we, as stroke survivors, go through. It seems it happens with any traumatic injury. We're helping him through it and I am strongly encouraging him to go to the burn survivors' support group at the hospital. So far, I'm getting resistance, but I am both stubborn and persistant. My eyes still "jump" around when I try to focus in on words, or fine details. It's made me a little retisient to try my hand at stained glass yet, but I am starting to paint again. I've always been more of an impressionist/surrealist than a realist painter, which is good, since fine details are a problem for me now. I guess I'm coming to accept that the focus thing is just another challenge that I have to face and work with. Usually, I'm ok with it, but sometimes, it's just so hard because I know how things used to be. I guess we all struggle with that from time to time. I imagine that is what Garion is feeling too. He remembers how his right hand & arm used to look and used to move.

 

He, like me, is an impatient "Type - A" personality (I raised 3 of them), who has a pathological need to be "in control" of himself, and especially his emotions, at all times. He is struggling with that and it is manifesting in crying jags or fits of yelling and arguing. This too, will pass. Jeanna, his girlfriend, is trying, very hard, to deal with him and let the poor behavior slide off her back. Difficult lesson for a 22-year-old. I'm trying very hard to be for both of them, sometimes in very much the same manner, some times in very different manners. We, as a family, will get through this.

 

 

Monster has been wonderful. Both Garion and Jeanna absolutely LOVE him - it's kind of hard not to love him. He helps to lift spirits and brighten outlooks. They have even asked me to put it into my will that, should anything happen to both me and Sam, they get "custody" of Monster. They will love him and continue his training, faithfully, so I have made that provision. It made them both very happy.

 

 

We will make through all of this. I will learn to fully accept the new mw, and Garion will learn to accept his new right arm/hand.

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Lydia:

 

thanks for update. Any abrupt change in life brings in lot of frustration & "whyme" for sure. but I am sure you being there for Garion will make him realize he is not that worse off & things are going to better only now.

 

Asha

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Lydia: we have a term we often use, as nurses, with our amputees: Body Image. At 60, both Bruce and I have accepted the effect of gravity, aging, loss of tone. Garion is being asked to accept that at an age when we all strive to be "pretty" or "muscular" and what I wouldn't give to have just my own body at that age: no improvements, no regrets. Garion is being asked to make those adjustments decades too soon.

 

I remember after my first breast cancer surgery at 17 asking the Doctor when I could wear a bathing suit again! Not how long will I live, what does chemo-radiation involve, will I lose my hair? Those were the issues my parents had to deal with. I would imagine it is the same for Garion. Being that it was traumatic and unexpected, it is taking him time to recognize exactly what happened and what that means for him. At thirty, this begins to recede and we move on to careers, family, marriage. Garion is being asked to skip of decade of maturity and that just takes time.

 

I applaud you and your family and his girlfriend for the support, patience and encouragement you are giving him. Please do keep us up to date and glad you are still working on you and your recovery. Prayers, Debbie

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