One of the things I've been left with after my strokes is an inability to access short term memory without visual or other sensory input. Basically, the only things that exist are teh things that are in the same place that I am. Everything else, I simply do not remember. So, I live in a world where there is only 1 room of the house at a time, and the only objects, chores, memories, etc., are the ones represented in that room. When I move to another room, that is the entirty of my world.

I know I have friends and family, but once they are not in the room, I don't remember what they look like and it takes me a moment to two, when I do see them again, to remember who they are. Even their pictures take a moment for me to place. The only constant is Monster, who is typically never out of my sight. I actually get a little nervous when he is out of my sight, because he is the one person in my world that I'm never without.

Well, I've just spent a week in Puerto Rico. My daily routine was completely thrown out the window while we were on vacation, and replaced with a daily routine for being on vacation. So, now that I am back home, I am struggling to refind the routines that I followed before going on vacation. I even surprised myself, yesterday, to discover that there is a whole other bedroom (Sam's Tai Chi Studio), that I had totally forgotten existed at all!

I actually walked into that room and asked myself, out loud, what is it that I do in this room? I didn't have an answer and had to ask Sam what that room was. But, I can remember the room now, as I sit here and type about it, because I am typing up a blog, and that triggers memories for me.

It's strange and it's frustrating because I know I didn't used to live like this, but I can't remember how I did live. I can't even remember exactly what it was that I did when I worked, but I know I worked before my strokes.

I'm getting myself all worked up over this and I need to stop because Monster and I are the only people here.