Must be that time of the year! We had about a week of rain, it flooded my phone junction box and on Thursday night my phone line started a loud buzzing noise and my Internet went down. So no Internet - no phone. On Saturday morning I was sitting in a stroke support meeting when a receptionist approached bearing a phone and it was news from the nursing home - Ray had had another collapse, maybe a stroke and was on his way by ambulance to Wyong Hospital. Wow! was that a blow!

So off I went to join him in the Accident and Emergency. Ray was semi conscious, unresponsive, seemed in a coma of some kind. The staff were hovering but didn't seem to be doing anything.eventually he got accessed and they decided he would stay in a general ward "for a few days" and told me to go home and catch some rest.

Well, Sunday he was similar to what he had been like when I left him on Saturday evening, the staff said he had aroused briefly but his heart rate was erratic, his breathing and blood work indicated an infection so they had started him on an antibiotic. He looked as if his face was swollen and he was having difficulty swallowing so only a drip to rehydrate him, nil by mouth. He seemed oblivious to my presence but did rouse for a couple of minutes and answer "yes" and "no to a couple of questions the nurses asked him.

I honestly thought this was the end. Ray lay mostly with his mouth open with somewhat laboured breathing and his heart monitor went off every few minutes. The staff showed much professionalism but once again we went through the "do not resuscitate" regulations. It seems each incident is treated separately and the protocols have to be restated. I looked at him and wondered if I should change my thoughts on peg feeding etc. On oxygen Ray looks a million dollars but looks can be deceiving. I knew this time he was really sick.

Today (Monday) he was responding, answering questions in some fashion, not really intelligently but trying to come up with some kind of answer. He was throwing his covers off and seemed very restless. I know he just hates to have an oxygen mask on. He said his left leg was "sore" and when I tried to reposition him he seemed not to be able to straighten his left leg. I am wondering if this is a new "deficit" or whether it is just too much effort to straighten it in his present state and that will resolve later.

The staff in the ward he is in are excellent. This time he is in a stroke assessment unit and they are treating him as if he has had an additional stroke. I have once again given them a timeline including all the previous strokes and as much of his medical history as I can remember. This time his doctor is a stroke specialist,who seems to know his stuff but hesitates to say he has had as stroke as it is not showing up on the CT scan. I would say he has had a stroke, all the indicators are there but once again not enough evidence. I asked the specialist what he was calling it and he said: "a lapse into unconsciousness of unknown origin"...I think that is a medical term meaning "I don't know".

So when I came home today my phone was working again and here I am. I have answered some of the messages, mostly from the people who were at the stroke meeting that I ran out of on Saturday morning and tomorrow I will answer the rest. For the next few days I will spend as much time as possible by Ray's side to once again act as his interpreter and answer all the questions he no longer knows the answer to. The nurse who did the mini mental asked him where he was and he answered: "Ourimbah Railways station". I guess the long glassed in corridor he could see out of his window could have looked like a train and may be the machine noises he could hear reminded him of a train...hard to say.

Tomorrow I hope to find him even better, more like the Ray of the last few weeks, maybe even able to sit up and take in some nourishing food. I am an optomist so I want him to go back to being able to propel himself around the nursing home, enjoy the concerts, go out on the bus, do all of the things he was doing last week. But also being a realist I am prepared to wait and see what the future does bring. I am just happy to have him still with me.