A bit of news here first, then an entry I hope some get a smile out of. We bought a new car yesterday, Lesley is thrilled. She is "vertically challenged" (short legs). In most cars, when she adjusts the seat so she can comfortably reach the pedals, she is too close to the steering wheel. The new Honda we just bought solves that problem with a tilt/telescoping steering wheel. She says she has never been so comfortable driving in any other car.

Now I will take my literary promiscuity to a new level and introduce my "family". I'll start with uncle gout. He visits a few times a year fortunately a few pills and he leaves quickly. Then there is Brother stroke. He visits every morning and always brings his annoying children "high blood pressure" and "blood thinner" with him. He also likes to mess with my left hand, arm and fingers. He has twin boys that visit with him, one called "cold foot" the other "cold hand". I find them most annoying to have around in the winter. Now I can get the best of them though with my heated socks and gloves. He has a wife "Debbie depression" I really found a pain to be around. She showed up right as he did for the first time 5 years ago, but quickly left after I learned how to control their children.Then there is nephew "twitchy leg". He is such a cute little bugger I usually let him sleep with me, but his twitching tends to keep me awake. Sometimes when he sits on my lap watching TV in the evening he likes to keep me annoyed with his twitching. Sister "sore shoulder and weak left arm" occasionally shows up, but usually goes away with some time on the exercise bike and bowflex exercise machine. Lesley claims "miss lost memory" shows up from time to time, but I don't remember that. Mr. "skip a beat a-fib" is a new neighbor that shows up now from time to time, but some meds are mostly keeping him away at the moment. Grandpa "bad Balance" or "Tippy" for short wobbles by once in a while but usually with some focus and preplanning I can get him to leave. Second cousin "can't sleep at night" shows up as well, but an Ambien usually calms her down.

Lesley has noticed she has some of the same relatives starting to show up in her life, but that is not unexpected, her mother is 89 and has some of the same acquaintances, so it is a genetic thing that runs in the family.

Probably not the best family one could want, but you know the old saying goes: you can choose your friends, but not your relatives!

P.S. On edit, Lesley reminded me we had a visit from "miss lost memory" yesterday and I forgot to mention a few other distant relatives. Mr. "weak eyes" visits everyday but I am so used to chasing him away with glasses, I don't even notice him anymore. Cousin "drop foot" is here everyday, but easily controlled with my AFO. Step dad "hearing loss" shows up from time to time, but I don't hear him often, so I just ignore him. When he becomes persistent I have found a quick "huh" or "what did you say" usually solves the problem. If all else fails a blank stare always works. Fred mentioned "aches and pains" visit him, they show up around here as well, but that gives me something to talk about besides Social Security when friends stop by.