I know that feeling of looking for a reward - boy I could have used a miracle from time to time. We had some periods in Ray's stroke journey when the illnesses came so close together it was like the domino theory. Then I'd pray: "Stop, give me a break" and sometimes that worked. Like you I felt like Ray had become Job and I was Mrs Job, watching it all happen and sharing the pain.

I think you do get stronger as the journey continues. I've always questioned the "we've done all the tests" reassurance by asking exactly what they were testing for and how they had eliminated each possibility. I found that way sometimes they would do one more test as they thought of something elsethat might be causing the pain.

This is putting a mighty strain on all of you so maybe think of some kind of treat for all the family. You can be the rewarder and remember to make a treat for yourself too.

Sue.

I agree with Sue above. I don't know how you do it but are obviously a strong person from what I have read.

Take care of yourself Nancy. My prayers go out to you and Dan.

Julie

nancy:

hope & pray you get good days soon. yes there is time in life when everything goes wrong one after another & we notice, but boy when things are going right one after another we never notice, thats why I feel keeping gratitude journal has helped me big time.

Asha

Nancy: i've had that one thing after another since last July and now think I am finally on an uphill swing altho' you couldn't tell it today. Keep the faith; I do think that challenges make us stronger and give us more faith but I would rather do without! I got my laptop out so I can watch the "movie" on Ram Dass that asha posted. it's is more comfortable in a chair other than my office. Leah

Nancy: I agree with Sue. Just asking what the tests were for is a big help. After reading that they tested his "organs", so no UTI, no intestine obstruction, all else OK, my first thought was rib fracture. So you see, when you stop and take a minute to figure out what is there and what could be affected.

I would try some heat-heating pad on low for about 10 minutes and see if that helps. And if he is sleeping, the pain is resolving a bit when he lays down. Look at his positioning: is he stretched out or crunched up. Bringing the knees to the abdomen usually relieves lower abdominal pain, that might be something you note to the Doctor. Have him sit, cross his arms across his rib cage and grab his back (one-sided if that is all he can do) and cough. Was there any change in the level of pain. That can be indicative of upper abdominal or rib trouble.

I know what you mean about the left jab-right hook. There are times now, when things are going well, that I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is what stroke does to all of us.

Take some family time, as suggested a treat or just some time off-a walk, bath, cup of tea with your daughter. Know that I am praying for all of you. Debbie

Remember He will never put more on you than you can bare. Sometimes I think He gives us these test just to see how strong we are and I hate it but lay your burdens down with Him and have faith. When it rains it pours but only He can fight your battles. Waiting sucks but when there is nothing else you can do, you can only wait for things to get better. You and your family are in my prayers

Nancy, I decided to start at the beginning of your blog and read it. I was amazed to see your first post speaking of something that I've wondered so much myself. I've had 2 theories I worked from.

1. God thinks I'm Job and trying to prove it

2. God knows I'm not Job, it's just that he hates me

I've had everything I own break since his stroke, and most of the things fixed were not able to be checked off the list, because they were never really right again. So I'm living in this state of hubby going down, and everything else around me going down with him..... goodness, maybe he is the sun of my universe and as he goes down, it is all setting with him.